Oh dear Lord Jesus Christ, only You know how lonely this road is.
I think I know what is truth, what is reality. But know how easily I am deceived also.
I don’t know what to make of what is happening to me. My body literally works in a supernatural way.
No one knows how terrified and alone I feel, Lord. Looking for light, hope, and direction.
I just know that You are in control. That You have everything handled as usual.
I relinquish the reins. Death, life, whatever You want is acceptable.
Last night I walked through an entire mall where I had gone to do my errand.
Stood in a clothing store and said to myself, if for some reason I live shopping here, these sales prices are great!
Walked through the mall wanted nothing in it. You know I used to hang out in malls as a refuge.
You know I had a shopping problem and was basically addicted to buying jewelry.
Walked through nothing interested me. Desired none of it. Just stuff, just possessions.
Even I noticed this and said to myself, oh Lord who have You made me into???
Jephthah's Daughter 
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