This morning I went to Mass. Received Communion. Afterwards, sat in the Presence of my Beloved Jesus, exposed in the Blessed Sacrament, having His real Presence within me, and stayed for the rosary and prayers after.

He spoke to me, commanded I write about our discussion.

Basically we sat and grieved Timothy, as he is truly dead and his soul really in Hell. Jesus showed me how He is a good husband Who will sit with me and grieve my husband who died.

How He understands sorrow and would sit with me in mine. As I sat with Him through the sorrowful mysteries, was spiritually there with Him in that horrible time He suffered for all.

Jesus, You weren’t alone at the cross as I was there, although I hadn’t yet been born. I love You, my Love. ❤❤❤

Jesus showed me He grieves all lost souls like I grieve Timothy. That He loved Timothy much more than me, loved him when I didn’t know he even existed.

Sent me from another state, on a plane. I had to abandon oxygen therapy all objective tests said was necessary, in order to do it.

Walk through airports, catch the connecting flight although doctors were talking about walkers, wheelchairs, and one had signed paperwork for permanent handicapped parking tags.

Rise up from your bed and walk. Go to Tucson with no money or plan. I have work for you there.

I said, but Lord my body is broken, how can I do any work?

The Lord was, no problem and healed my body. I have medical records to prove it. Docs just changed diagnoses AND meds, put history in history, started fresh. Didn’t ask why.

I have learned sometimes they encounter situations like this they can’t explain. They accept reality and move on. More than one doc did this with me, and one explained their thinking.

Timothy needed to hear me sing; therefore He restored my musical ear, although I had lost it due to a head injury. I sang one day and could just hear the pitches and sing. I retain this ability today.

I was sent for him in particular, very miraculously and improbably delivered to his very doorstep, having had to board a plane and fly from another state to get there.

Package delivered, special delivery, will you sign? Unknown sender. He signed, having no idea what had just showed up or the impact that would have on both our lives.

After I wrote about what he did, the Lord showed me I wrote about his secret heart. Timothy had several roles, a couple of businesses also. In fulfilling these, he couldn’t be his real self.

Timothy was big into duty and responsibility and fulfilling his commitments. He taught discipline and was disciplined himself.

His life exploded and he came here to be who he really was. Say what he really thought. Show the kindness he felt he couldn’t elsewhere.

He was in a position where it wasn’t safe to be kind. The big dirty secret of his life is that he really wanted to love Jesus and he actually loved me. For many reasons he couldn’t admit these things, had to behave otherwise.

The big dirty secret of his life is he wanted to be compassionate, loving, and serve the Lord. He loved me, and he was in a position where he pretty much had to do and act the opposite.

The man’s secret heart will truly never be known, so it falls to me to tell it.

He did something he couldn’t come back from, or he would be safe with Jesus, free of all pain finally. If only he hadn’t done that particular sin. If only he had done just about anything else. If only.

He did do that, and as Jesus had no one else lined up willing or able to do what I did, he died and his soul went to Hell.

Jesus and I grieved, him and every lost soul, for Jesus. I love Timothy beyond reason. I don’t care what people think of me. The man died for me. I will tell his story and suffer any consequences from the telling.

Jesus loved him far far more, sent me in the first place, did provable miracles so I could do this work.

In the end it failed. In the end it succeeded. Timothy endured destruction to save me from the horrible fate he had created for me. The Lord did demand it.

Timothy’s dirty secret is he did it willingly. Blamed the Lord of course. But willingly. In an act of profound love no one could ever know.

The Lord knew, told me, so I am telling all.

Jesus said, tell the world I love every lost soul, that I grieve every lost soul like we are grieving Timothy, that I have plans in place to save everyone. If only they will accept them.

If only.