So I was gone a long time and I can’t discuss it. Do not ask I will never tell. This isn’t negotiable.

But I am going to describe what it felt like.

I don’t even remember the day I dropped out. Like the 13th or something?

It’s the 30th so that was quite some time ago.

I lost track of time after awhile. Days and nights kinda all ran together.

And in this intense time I cannot discuss, at all ever, I would like to describe the very very last lesson I got out of it before I was able to return to normal life, which will never be normal again.

Walking around familiar streets again and it’s like a massive alien landscape honestly.

I returned to the “normal world” and it isn’t my world anymore somehow.

I was in a sweat lodge. Not literally. A sweat lodge experience chosen for me by the Lord Who is in control of all things.

What is a sweat lodge? Basically, it is a spiritual purification ritual employing heat, chanting, etc..

With all due respect to Native Americans, whose culture I have always liked and owned many many pieces of Native jewelry throughout my life, I do not recommend a literal sweat lodge spiritually. As a Christian, I feel the result is to put you in touch with spirits I consider quite harmful, and so cannot recommend a real sweat lodge at all.

For all that, I really do like Natives in every way. We have many of different tribes living here and it is great to meet them and learn more about their culture.

The sweat lodge IS based on Native culture; but people have kinda taken it over and run it sometimes badly. There is a famous case where people died. Of course Natives are angry about this. It’s their culture and they know their stuff the best.

But the principle is a universal one, even if I would not go on a Native sweat lodge experience. The principle of suffering to break open massive spiritual power is LITERALLY UNIVERSAL.

Jesus Christ died a terrible death on a cross. I participated in a Passion Play this last Easter and we made it real. So real children were literally crying.

People complained. They wanted their nice polite church; how dare we smack them with reality? Church is Sunday school and potlucks and friends, not blood and suffering and death.

The pastor vainly countered that’s how it really was. I think he caved and I never saw them post the pics.

Why did Jesus do that? Above Savior of the world, did anybody ever run a psychological analysis on the Bible guy? Anybody ever ask if that guy was mentally healthy? Was He a lunatic???

I see a guy Who liked parties so much He made a ton of wine so a wedding could go on. You see Jesus a lot at social gatherings. He was a people person. Pharisees complained about the company He kept. They were His enemies and He knew this.

He had compassion on others; fed thousands once because they had come to see Him and they were hungry. Healed people; drove out demons, etc. etc.. Loved little kids.

When He was stressed He ran away to a mountain top to talk to Dad. Slept in boats; I am tired obviously. Oh wait disciples are freaking; I will make the storm calm down. Calm the disciples, go back to sleep. Maybe. It doesn’t say what He did next.

He obviously loved His own; spent lots of time with them. Had loyal friends.

I think if He popped in a mental health clinic they would say, why are You coming to see us? There is nothing wrong. Please continue to be good to people; You are needed.

Yet He voluntarily died a really horrible horrible death. Sane mentally healthy guy Who didn’t have to do that DID.

I saw Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ” once and it is dead on. And so horrible I never saw it again.

I was with a Catholic group at the time and the excited buzz is it was the one rated R movie the Pope said, this is not a sin if you see. Yeah it got an R rating. It DESERVED that rating trust me.

So why would sane mentally healthy compassionate loving guy who loves parties and children die horrible R rated death??????

He was and is GOD and didn’t have to. He DID.

Why? Saving the world was THAT important. So He did it.

I will not now go into all the theology behind the salvific death of Jesus Christ; the Bible and books and many resources have exhaustively explored all that.

And say, maybe this is prime example of blood suffering and death breaking open MASSIVE SPIRITUAL POWER. Enough to pay for all our sins and save all of humanity and the universe if this was done by GOD.

So the Chronicles of Narnia was written by C.S. Lewis as an allegory of the Christian life, and Hollywood made this film. Aslan is metaphorically Jesus Christ in the stories, so this is a metaphorical film example of the death of Jesus Christ.

Not pretty is it?

So it was so so sweet when he came back. It turned out he saved Narnia by doing that, and it didn’t look like that at the time. Jesus Christ did the same thing; rose from the dead. Spent 40 days afterwards meeting and talking to people; many many many saw him. Cooked breakfast for his friends once even.

Then ascended to Heaven and left it to His friends and all who came after them to carry on His EPIC work.

I was very very close to a man once who was living a double life. He was pretending to be a good Christian and he was actually a servant of the Enemy.

A lot of people looked to this man for spiritual advice. His advice, to me and everyone else who asked, THE CROSS. Over and over and over. His life was all about the CROSS. I asked him, at various points in time, how do you get through stuff? He said I think about the cross all the time, keep it in my head.

All the real life evidence I know proves this was a very sincere belief. And he also sincerely and in a very real way served Satan. So why was it the CROSS? I noticed long after he didn’t talk about Jesus. They hate the Name and he didn’t use it much.

At the end of the “sweat lodge experience” the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth designed for me through life circumstances, I remembered this. That a guy serving Satan built everything he was doing around the CROSS. A very advanced person spiritually also.

Why? Everything that guy ever did was built around the concept of SUFFERING RELEASING SPIRITUAL POWER. He was a Satanist and clung to and taught this principle to whoever would listen. They only do what works, so IT WORKS.

THEREFORE, various people throughout the centuries have created experiences of suffering if they didn’t feel real life provided them with this.

My funny and sad post about the Middle Ages. Sweat lodge experiences. People shelling out money to be kidnapped (warning graphic photos at destination). Tough Mudder. Survivor.

I out of curiosity looked into what you have to do to be cast on Survivor and found the information is kinda hidden. Some basic info and if you want to find out more, fill out the app.

Why? Well everyone who watches Survivor knows it is grueling and tough, and maybe Hollywood doesn’t want to share their real requirements as a result unless you are a serious applicant.

In this case, the Lord Jesus Christ provided all and He ran it frankly.

It wasn’t safe. At all.

I didn’t survive in some ways, and yet obviously I am sitting here typing this.

I didn’t have to pay any money. It did involve crucifixion if not literal crucifixion, with accompanying blood suffering and death.

That Satanist knew and trusted the power of the cross. Jesus he knew less of.

Life is different now. And always will be.

Please do NOT go commit crimes or pursue a life of crime. Stay law abiding for all reasons. That having been said, I love the message of this video.