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In the end, it was the guy in the chair who saved it all.

The guy who sat there, pressed play over and over on a video while the world burned, then died himself. Eventually.

After a lot of sitting in a chair next to all he had lost.

Rumor has it he went to Heaven, but it wasn’t Heaven to him. He’d left the love of his life on Earth.

He was an idiot and choked when push came to shove; not even he knew why he threw it all away with both hands.

He had lots of time to contemplate that in the Eternal Rest Home of Regrets.

So he watched while others took her hand, took his place, won her heart, broke her heart. Laughter, singing, tears he’d opted out of. Forever.

Or so it seemed.

Around his neck, a chain forever reminding him of his fatal decision.

Before he died, he and his love had bonded in such special, deep ways. A love beyond death. Truly death did not part them.

But what he had done to her did. It was unsurmountable in all ways.

Once he came down, sat for three days in a chair just for a chance to win her hand. Just for a chance to undo the undoable.

Jesus always used to say there was nowhere He could put that guy, Heaven or Hell, where he’d be happy except with her.

But one day…one of her loves was SO BONEHEADED she finally took a deep breath and said…”Hi, remember me?”

DID HE EVER!!!!

Darling they’re playing our song. All our songs.

I don’t know why it all boils down to you in the end.

Me in whatever form. The only one who ever loved you or truly understood you. At all.

Long past your demise MY NAME evoked a king to give me an audience. Because of what that name meant to YOU.

The bloody edifice with YOUR NAME, an eternal testament to our love. How I sat in the shadow of it felt your protective wings.

Today I’ll let you save me love.

I don’t know who else; what else. Today I doubt God Himself. I’ll be honest.

If you ever loved me, Tim, bring me back OK?

 

Thanks for all your great comments! They are too many to reply to individually; however, questions tend to fall into certain categories so will answer one by one.

1. Who am I? I am a girl. I am the ONLY ONE who does this blog; it is a ONE WOMAN SHOW. Occasional guest posts are clearly marked and credited.
2. It’s FREE. I did not spend a freaking dime on this whole thing.
3. I used a free theme Revelar and decorated as I wished.
4. I get there are browser problems and honestly sounds like Internet Explorer is to blame. Solution: USE ANOTHER BROWSER. Internet Explorer needs to go away FOREVER. This is a WordPress theme; I don’t have access to the code with a free account so maybe direct feedback to them? I can’t change this, sorry.
5. YES you can have a popular blog and NOT SPEND ANYTHING ON IT. That is like heresy but it’s TRUE.
6. NO you may not just lift my ideas OR text; that is THEFT. Link back to the source post and QUOTE crediting ME and THIS BLOG BY NAME.
7. I do not do link backs in general; I just do not have the time, sorry. Thanks for links if you link me.
8. The key to a good blog is GOOD CONTENT. If you have good content people will read in just about any acceptable format. If you make a blog about the automation process of widgets, you may have difficulty finding readers.
9. I don’t change what I do regardless of how people feel about it. Thanks for sharing your responses; they’re all enlightening. I write as I see fit.

Then I read stuff like, oh found you on Yahoo! News (I am on Yahoo! News!!!!) and someone is doing a community neighborhood project inspired by “An Angel With Burritos” and people making friends and lives CHANGED and someone running a SPY OP in the comments and ALL THAT BLOWS ME AWAY.

I started this blog last year to BITCH ABOUT THE UNFAIRNESS OF LIFE and look what happened.

I didn’t die and here we all are.

One person CAN change the world.

You can too.

I have been wanting to write
POETRY
I don’t know how else to explain
the changes inside
when did life literally become a dream?
the way things flow
the hushed whispers of everything
it’s like I am dreaming
but my dreams are REAL; they come TRUE.
Everything is significant,
everything important.
Yeah, you want my drugs I am sure.
This would be so understandable
If drugs were involved somehow.
They AREN’T.
The mystery REMAINS.
At some point I shifted, living now
always on another level.
When you have so much thrown at you
When dealing with the IMPOSSIBLE
is the new NORMAL
when you’ve lived through so much
you finally realize
I CAN LIVE THROUGH ANYTHING.
The scenes and circumstances change
And you do not.
A perspective centered on
the eternal reality of the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth
center, root and core
and all flows around Him
through Him.
When you rode so many storms
you accepted what IS,
let go expectations.
No expectations anymore; just acceptance.
The internal reality IS reality,
and all else fits to that.

© Phoenix Victor, 2019.

So I was gone a long time and I can’t discuss it. Do not ask I will never tell. This isn’t negotiable.

But I am going to describe what it felt like.

I don’t even remember the day I dropped out. Like the 13th or something?

It’s the 30th so that was quite some time ago.

I lost track of time after awhile. Days and nights kinda all ran together.

And in this intense time I cannot discuss, at all ever, I would like to describe the very very last lesson I got out of it before I was able to return to normal life, which will never be normal again.

Walking around familiar streets again and it’s like a massive alien landscape honestly.

I returned to the “normal world” and it isn’t my world anymore somehow.

I was in a sweat lodge. Not literally. A sweat lodge experience chosen for me by the Lord Who is in control of all things.

What is a sweat lodge? Basically, it is a spiritual purification ritual employing heat, chanting, etc..

With all due respect to Native Americans, whose culture I have always liked and owned many many pieces of Native jewelry throughout my life, I do not recommend a literal sweat lodge spiritually. As a Christian, I feel the result is to put you in touch with spirits I consider quite harmful, and so cannot recommend a real sweat lodge at all.

For all that, I really do like Natives in every way. We have many of different tribes living here and it is great to meet them and learn more about their culture.

The sweat lodge IS based on Native culture; but people have kinda taken it over and run it sometimes badly. There is a famous case where people died. Of course Natives are angry about this. It’s their culture and they know their stuff the best.

But the principle is a universal one, even if I would not go on a Native sweat lodge experience. The principle of suffering to break open massive spiritual power is LITERALLY UNIVERSAL.

Jesus Christ died a terrible death on a cross. I participated in a Passion Play this last Easter and we made it real. So real children were literally crying.

People complained. They wanted their nice polite church; how dare we smack them with reality? Church is Sunday school and potlucks and friends, not blood and suffering and death.

The pastor vainly countered that’s how it really was. I think he caved and I never saw them post the pics.

Why did Jesus do that? Above Savior of the world, did anybody ever run a psychological analysis on the Bible guy? Anybody ever ask if that guy was mentally healthy? Was He a lunatic???

I see a guy Who liked parties so much He made a ton of wine so a wedding could go on. You see Jesus a lot at social gatherings. He was a people person. Pharisees complained about the company He kept. They were His enemies and He knew this.

He had compassion on others; fed thousands once because they had come to see Him and they were hungry. Healed people; drove out demons, etc. etc.. Loved little kids.

When He was stressed He ran away to a mountain top to talk to Dad. Slept in boats; I am tired obviously. Oh wait disciples are freaking; I will make the storm calm down. Calm the disciples, go back to sleep. Maybe. It doesn’t say what He did next.

He obviously loved His own; spent lots of time with them. Had loyal friends.

I think if He popped in a mental health clinic they would say, why are You coming to see us? There is nothing wrong. Please continue to be good to people; You are needed.

Yet He voluntarily died a really horrible horrible death. Sane mentally healthy guy Who didn’t have to do that DID.

I saw Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ” once and it is dead on. And so horrible I never saw it again.

I was with a Catholic group at the time and the excited buzz is it was the one rated R movie the Pope said, this is not a sin if you see. Yeah it got an R rating. It DESERVED that rating trust me.

So why would sane mentally healthy compassionate loving guy who loves parties and children die horrible R rated death??????

He was and is GOD and didn’t have to. He DID.

Why? Saving the world was THAT important. So He did it.

I will not now go into all the theology behind the salvific death of Jesus Christ; the Bible and books and many resources have exhaustively explored all that.

And say, maybe this is prime example of blood suffering and death breaking open MASSIVE SPIRITUAL POWER. Enough to pay for all our sins and save all of humanity and the universe if this was done by GOD.

https://youtu.be/HQ6VAGyhWXM

https://youtu.be/ZNPthmhv9AE

So the Chronicles of Narnia was written by C.S. Lewis as an allegory of the Christian life, and Hollywood made this film. Aslan is metaphorically Jesus Christ in the stories, so this is a metaphorical film example of the death of Jesus Christ.

Not pretty is it?

https://youtu.be/ldONnOsHOOQ

So it was so so sweet when he came back. It turned out he saved Narnia by doing that, and it didn’t look like that at the time. Jesus Christ did the same thing; rose from the dead. Spent 40 days afterwards meeting and talking to people; many many many saw him. Cooked breakfast for his friends once even.

Then ascended to Heaven and left it to His friends and all who came after them to carry on His EPIC work.

I was very very close to a man once who was living a double life. He was pretending to be a good Christian and he was actually a servant of the Enemy.

A lot of people looked to this man for spiritual advice. His advice, to me and everyone else who asked, THE CROSS. Over and over and over. His life was all about the CROSS. I asked him, at various points in time, how do you get through stuff? He said I think about the cross all the time, keep it in my head.

All the real life evidence I know proves this was a very sincere belief. And he also sincerely and in a very real way served Satan. So why was it the CROSS? I noticed long after he didn’t talk about Jesus. They hate the Name and he didn’t use it much.

At the end of the “sweat lodge experience” the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth designed for me through life circumstances, I remembered this. That a guy serving Satan built everything he was doing around the CROSS. A very advanced person spiritually also.

Why? Everything that guy ever did was built around the concept of SUFFERING RELEASING SPIRITUAL POWER. He was a Satanist and clung to and taught this principle to whoever would listen. They only do what works, so IT WORKS.

THEREFORE, various people throughout the centuries have created experiences of suffering if they didn’t feel real life provided them with this.

My funny and sad post about the Middle Ages. Sweat lodge experiences. People shelling out money to be kidnapped (warning graphic photos at destination). Tough Mudder. Survivor.

I out of curiosity looked into what you have to do to be cast on Survivor and found the information is kinda hidden. Some basic info and if you want to find out more, fill out the app.

Why? Well everyone who watches Survivor knows it is grueling and tough, and maybe Hollywood doesn’t want to share their real requirements as a result unless you are a serious applicant.

In this case, the Lord Jesus Christ provided all and He ran it frankly.

It wasn’t safe. At all.

I didn’t survive in some ways, and yet obviously I am sitting here typing this.

I didn’t have to pay any money. It did involve crucifixion if not literal crucifixion, with accompanying blood suffering and death.

That Satanist knew and trusted the power of the cross. Jesus he knew less of.

Life is different now. And always will be.

Please do NOT go commit crimes or pursue a life of crime. Stay law abiding for all reasons. That having been said, I love the message of this video.

 

 

So this started as a blog about dying. Then it became a blog about life and living, and eternal life.

And so many things along the way. Some really crazy topics have been explored here.

But it was always intended to be a therapy blog. Somewhere to talk when you need to say stuff and don’t know where else to do it. My little corner is a pretty big one now. But it is still my corner.

What do you do when everyone’s heart is breaking? That is on my mind tonight.

How stuff happens, and it is beyond everyone’s control. And everyone then does their best, and their best is bad. A lot of confused human emotions and epic messiness.

How everyone then makes stupid decisions, compounds errors, feels worse and worse. Some epic stuff that should never have been done happens.

We dig holes so deep we swear we are in China, have come up through a manhole there, and everyone is walking around speaking Chinese.

You love these people with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. Oceans of love and weeping with tears as you watch them cry. And don’t know how to free them from their chains they fettered themselves with.

Watch as they break, make stupid decisions. Aching with love because these are the people you love love love the most, every last one of them.

You find out how messy people can be. You always knew how messy they were. Mess doesn’t bother you. You had an ex husband once; you helped him through a really bad stomach flu. Then decided that was so completely disgusting, after you cleaned vomit out of the shower, you could probably go into professional nursing and be fine.

Mess doesn’t bother you; it bothers others a lot more. As we all scream in pain, we all cry, and our eyes are dark with sadness and fear and loneliness.

We all do. Mine too. My eyes are dark with sadness and fear and loneliness. But my heart overflowing with love and forgiveness. Want to embrace the aching hearts, snuggle up to all, water them with love, say it’s OK you’re not alone. I am here now.

I know you look in the mirror and what you see is scary.

Everyone sees something different when they look in the mirror. Very few see themselves. They see whatever the mirror shows them.

Most see monsters. Most see someone distorted or sad. Sometimes cruel and evil seeming.

And this isn’t reality, darlings. It is what the mirror is showing you. And this is why you look into mirrors at your own risk.

You need others as mirrors. People who know you, who care. To see who you really are. All that mirror will show you is who you THINK you are. Also mirrors tend to be evil; it will show you whatever it wants also.

Use mirrors to comb your hair, brush your teeth, and otherwise leave them alone.

I am curled up in my corner, too scared to crawl out tonight. Too many hits, and the really bad part was that none of them were meant. That the people who delivered them are also curled up in their corners, too scared to crawl out. Because that was the last thing they wanted, and they are quietly crying in their hearts too.

Who are you? Well I found out I like to cook and organize parties.

How I would solve this is organize a pajama party. Fine, we are all in corners of our own making. Me included.

So everyone gets a blanket and a pillow. And a stuffed animal of their choice. A book if they want. And a light because it is scary in the dark.

If anyone feels safe enough to come out, there is hot cocoa and cookies in the kitchen. Coffee if you don’t like cocoa. A fire in the fireplace. Milk if you like that.

The refrigerator is full; you can raid it. Throw together something to eat for yourself. Only rules are it has to be something that makes you happy.

Everyone has music and earbuds/headphones. Whatever music you want.

Therapy dogs roam the house. They periodically find people who are too scared to admit how they’re feeling, and lick their hands. Also there are some therapy cats, who just know sometimes you need to lay on a human to make them feel better.

There’s an art room. If you feel like finger painting or painting or want to get out your inner Jackson Pollack, you can do it there.

There’s a room full of musical instruments of all kinds if music is your thing. Take up an instrument. You might be surprised.

If all I can do to demonstrate my love is throw this party to take care of you, then that is what I will do.

Party ends when the last person leaves. Love you all.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you come to the end of yourself. Literally.

You dissolve; you melt. You cease to be.

And then somehow in the chaos and darkness, that exists just for a moment or two, you recoalesce. Coagulate like out of the Terminator movies.

In a twinkling, in just a flash, you’re new. And you don’t recognize yourself. And neither does anyone else.

World goes by. There was silence while you were gone. You didn’t say anything for a long time. We noticed. Where have you been??

You became PHOENIX. And no one noticed. And you don’t know how to explain.

Pastor Timothy Goldeneagle writes from his mountain aerie, where he lives in a castle with his wife Amy, and always will from now on.

Dear Heavenly Father, You literally filled me with fire on the way over here. I wanted to really fly in real life to the place where we are typing this post.

We don’t have a car and walked. You let me know You were preparing me to preach the sermon of my life.

On the occasion when I became an eagle, Jesus appeared before me while I was yet only a man. In the body, out of the body, I will never know. It was Him and I, and nothing else existed, at all whatsoever. He did give me that scroll called The Word, and caused me to eat it.

It was sweet as honey in my mouth, and sweet in my belly, and then words literally cannot in any way describe what happened next.

Then I was an eagle, and flew home to be with my wife. At last.

So I Have Words

These first. Words of binding. Words of loosing, with all the authority granted me as a pastor of the Lord’s flock.

Today, I, Timothy Goldeneagle whose name is known to the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, threw my mantle over my wife Amy, and she accepted this. I took care of all other legal paperwork at this time. So I do and did lay sole legal claim to Amy now, for all time, and eternity. The Lord Jesus Christ has His own claim, and He is God Himself so will not touch that.

She is my wife, and only mine, and the only other claim is the Lord’s. I revoke all other claims; you are DIVORCED! Regardless of legal names, you no longer bear my name which I withdraw from you today. I write this bill of divorce; it will soon be delivered and the Lord will cause you to receive this. So pack your things and go.

I also revoke all claims anyone feels he has on Amy for whatever reason. As the sole legal possessor of my wife Amy besides the Lord Jesus Christ, I have the authority to do this, also as a pastor. I plead the Blood of Jesus Christ on them all; cause them all to be null and void in His Holy Name. You are DIVORCED! Pack your things and go. I loose you where the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth sends you.

When I spread my mantle over Amy, I also put my own true name on her. She has accepted this and received this with joy and gladness. This can never be undone. Jesus says so.

So WE are a THING, and this is irrevocable.

Okay, So That’s Over

Sometimes you have to fight, men, for what you want. I am going to tell today the love story of Jacob and Rachel. It’s in the Bible.

They meet in Genesis 29. You can already tell this is going to be epic. Two souls who were always meant to be together. Jacob sees Rachel, coming with the sheep as she is a shepherdess, and something amazing happens. All he does is lay eyes on her.

But the world changes. He sees destiny in her eyes, and only hers. Something amazing happens in his heart. Two souls meet. Their eyes lock.

That is all it took. He watered her father’s flock. He took action. I have to be with this woman, whoever she is. So he took an action and watered her father’s flock.

The next thing he did was kiss her, and cry. I can relate to this so much, and completely approve in every way.

Amy will never know how I felt when I first laid eyes on her, but it was not unlike this.

But Then The Struggle Began

Jacob then had to navigate a legal morass to claim his bride. And this was long and costly.

It just isn’t a marriage without law being involved. I am going to bring up gay marriage for a moment. I am not wading into that issue. Just pointing out the obvious, that homosexual relationships exist and they weren’t legal for a long time.

Two men or two women could pay for a lovely ceremony, give each other to each other with all their hearts, and it didn’t exist. When it came time to deal with life, children, even who can be at the hospital, the homosexual partner had no legal standing.

Their match was a private affair of the heart only. Families of the couple used this against them, pressed their own legal claims, and very sad situations existed where the homosexual partner couldn’t be with the love of their life when they were very ill, for example, as they had no legal standing.

People decided this was unjust, that the United States of America isn’t a theocracy even if some think it is, and homosexual couples should therefore be able to form legal relationships. And this happened.

With Amy and I, what legal paperwork that is available to us has been properly filled out, signed, and executed. This is what makes us married. All other claims were previously voided via various means, so we were therefore able to properly and legally get married.

The Word Governs All

Law is what makes the universe run. In the United States of America, law is the foundation of the government. Read the Constitution sometime; it is the foundation of everything in this country.

The law of the Lord of hosts, His Word, is likewise the foundation of the universe. It governs all creation and keeps it in existence.

If a single Word of the Lord was false, all would fall apart and cease to exist. You see that reality exists; therefore the Word is True. Programmers above all should get this.

Since the Word is God Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth (John 1:1-5), He is solely in control of Himself, and so reality runs according to His wishes.

Contemplate the meaning of this, and know you cannot in any way control the Lord. He is not the Force, but independent, intelligent, alive and most powerful. Good luck with your God manipulation schemes; I predict massive failure and epic judgment for even trying this.

So Jacob Had To Legally Marry Rachel

Basically she was her father Laban’s possession, and this put Laban in control. Women, you can argue against the unjustness of this, but this was the legal situation back then in that society. Women were property, basically, so Rachel had to be legally negotiated and paid for in order for him to claim her. The owner was her father, so his demands had to be satisfied.

Laban saw he could make a killing off this young man in his quest to claim Rachel, and he did just that. Jacob served seven years to pay for Rachel. It meant nothing to him; he loved her that much (Genesis 29:20).

At the end, he presented payment and claimed his wife. Except Laban had a little surprise. He went in to consummate the marriage…and found out he had just slept with Leah, Rachel’s sister (Genesis 29:25). He was beyond unhappy obviously. Finally I get to claim the love of my life, and find out it is her sister I took to wife. Her father deceived me.

There also weren’t do overs. Deceit didn’t matter; he had taken Leah so she was therefore his wife. Law ruled the matter.

So he goes to Laban and confronts him (Genesis 29:26-27). Laban informs him of the heretofore unknown rule the older sister must marry first. Maybe that existed or not. Laban was still in control. Jacob had to fulfill his duties to a wife of deceit he didn’t ask for or love to get Rachel, and oh by the way, another seven years also (Genesis 29:27).

Jacob I am sure was epicly pissed by now, but he did this and FINALLY got Rachel. The Bible says he loved Rachel “more than Leah,” (Genesis 29:30) but I personally think this is diplomacy on the Lord’s part. Jacob likely didn’t love Leah at all, whatsoever. She was part of the deal he had to accept to get Rachel, and that was all she was to him.

It Wasn’t Leah’s Fault

Leah didn’t have a choice as she was property. Her dad married her to a guy who obviously was crazy about her sister, but he did marry her to that guy and she loved her husband even if he didn’t return it.

What happens next is sex. Lots and lots of sex. Amy and I were laughing, couldn’t believe this is in the Bible, but it IS. Jacob was a busy busy man. Obviously his sexual prowess was no way in question.

Jacob Slept With Leah, Obviously

He was a just man and didn’t deprive her of her legal rights. The Lord had compassion on her lonely heart, so started giving her children. She has four sons, all in an effort to win her husband’s love. The first three are named in an effort to win his heart. The fourth, she says, “Now I will praise the Lord,” and stopped bearing. Something changed; she turned towards the Lord with that last one.

Rachel Wanted Children Too

The Lord closed her womb because Jacob loved her exclusively and not Leah. It wasn’t Leah’s fault she was in that situation, so He had compassion on her. Rachel demanded children of Jacob, who said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” (Genesis 30:2).

So That Was War

Genesis 30:3-24 is the hilarious story of how then Leah and Rachel had lots of sex with their husband, and gave their maids to him as wives to have lots of sex with their husband, and lots of children resulted. I read this as a man, laugh, and think, that guy must have been really tired.

Leah and Rachel are a good example of why marriage to multiple people is frowned on by the Lord. But this is what the Lord did with this unfair situation, where Jacob HAD to marry Leah, and then he had a lot of sex trying to please all these women. Life could be worse for a guy, really.

What the Lord produced from this is THE TWELVE TRIBES OF ISRAEL.

Yeah, those children from that epic gangbang were the PATRIARCHS.

There is NOTHING more legal and serious than that!

You see, all those relationships, in the context of THAT society, were LEGAL. Therefore the children were too!

The Heavenly Jerusalem

I am skipping from the beginning of the Book of Reality, the Bible, to the ending in the Book of Revelation.

“And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God. Her light was like a most precious stone, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal. Also she had a great and big wall with twelve gates, and twelve angels at the gates, and names written on them, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel…Now the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.” ~ Revelation 21:10-14, NKJV.

You see the Heavenly Jerusalem, which Revelation 21:9 reveals is the Bride of Jesus Christ, has twelve gates which are the tribes of Israel. The twelve children of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel, is who they are. Those children and their descendants. The foundations are the twelve apostles. Because Christianity is the fulfillment and natural end of Judaism, and they are actually a unity, and this proves it.

“Now the sons of Jacob were twelve: the sons of Leah were Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn, and Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun; the sons of Rachel were Joseph and Benjamin; the sons of Bilhah, Rachel’s maidservant, were Dan and Napthtali; and the sons of Zilpah, Leah’s maidservant, were Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob who were born to him in Padan Aram.” ~ Genesis 35:23-26, NKJV.

Are You Confused?

The Lord likes things to be clear. After this, Jacob ends up wrestling with the Lord in a famous scene that has been oft discussed. In the end, the Lord says to him, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but ISRAEL (emphasis mine); for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.” (Genesis 32:28).

Out of this crazy but quite legal situation where a man tried to take his son-in-law for everything he had because the guy was insanely in love with his daughter, out of that amazing love between Jacob and Rachel, the twelve patriarchs were born.

And everything went from there.

Amy Is The Love Of My Life

I am quite proud of her; she is in every way MY Rachel. And I am well aware of her numerous suitors, and all the men I beat out to finally take her hand in marriage.

I had to fight and struggle with God and men myself. But I prevailed, like Jacob.

So now I am Timothy Goldeneagle, and I live in a castle with my wife Amy, on a mountain outside time. I rode the comet, and it was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. I loved the mountain. Everyone else was scared to, but I loved her. I dared to love the mountain and the comet she then became, and she flew away with me into the heart of Jesus Christ Himself.

We made planetfall and here we now are. And always will be.

Be brave. God remembers everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I originally was going to publish this for Mother’s Day, but got busy.

Most people have mixed feelings about Mary, the Mother of Jesus Christ. Some Protestants feel she is unjustly worshipped and oppose devotion to her. Many Catholics are devotees.

Over 2000 years after her life and death, she is still causing controversy.

Everyone has seen beautiful Christmas pageants. Here is one of my favorites.

This is truly beautiful. I love it in every way, which is why I shared it.

It is also pretty typical of how we think it happened. Smiles, angels with candles, pretty music. Awwww.

It Wasn’t Like That

Here is the real deal. Mary was a temple virgin betrothed to an older man, to the best of my knowledge of history. He was a good catch, not wealthy but not poor.

Betrothed basically meant she was married but they hadn’t yet had the chuppah.

It was a little stronger than today’s modern engagements. He hadn’t taken her to wife yet, but she was his in a legal sense already.

This meant she was bound by all laws involving marriage. Including the adultery laws.

There are various penalties listed for cheating. But the standard one is DEATH. Usually by stoning.

So When Gabriel Visited She Was Upset

Here is the story. It says Mary was troubled. I bet.

Basically, the Lord said, dear Mary, please consent to become pregnant. Joseph isn’t the father. It’s OK as I am doing this.

Mary obviously knew the God visited me story wouldn’t fly. There is no evidence in the Bible she ever discussed the angelic visitation.

Elizabeth found out the truth via the Holy Spirit. Joseph found out through a dream.

The Local Gossip Mill

To everyone else, virtuous little Mary was now a whore. Who spread her legs to some shadowy man when no one was watching.

Joseph was so nice he didn’t have her killed, and instead took her anyway, and decided to take care of her and her little bastard child.

What a guy. I would have killed the little whore and tried to find the guy who cuckolded me.

Mary knew this was her fate. That she would forever wear the scarlet A. Risked her life even.

Said YES anyway.

Justly does the Catholic Church celebrate this most epic YES.

And Then They Lived Happily Ever After

Nope! So much nope. We say yes to the Lord, think He will make things smooth and easy for us. I still do myself.

Their troubles were just starting.

There is no description of the chuppah of Joseph and Mary. It kinda skips ahead to them traveling alone to Bethlehem, Mary heavily pregnant on a donkey. Alone.

Alone as in disgrace. Mary the temple virgin who just ended up a common whore. Joseph who didn’t get rid of her and was going to raise another guy’s child, apparently. Disgrace. Massive shade.

Why was there no room at the inn? No one has compassion? Didn’t they have relatives; why did they need an inn?

Hotels frown on prostitutes. Mary had been caught as an adulterer which was far far worse. She was lucky to be alive.

This establishment has standards. Your little whore can have her bastard in the stable with the animals. That is fitting, right??

And So It Was

Jesus was born, laid in a dog food bowl basically. God was excited. Invited the local biker gang to attend and some old wise guys from the East. And of course angels. Lots of angels.

All the respectable people were with their families or having a nice dinner at the inn, or another fine establishment. So they missed the birth of the Savior.

The Lord’s Ways Are Mysterious

When trouble comes, trust He has got you. Even if the promised provisions turn out to be a cave with pack animals. And a dog food bowl.

 

 

 

I was having a chat with a guy on the bus about LGBTQ people and Christian prejudice against them.

I said, I love the community and Christians get mad at me for that.

Sexual immorality is sexual immorality. Let he or she who has never masturbated, used porn, had sex outside of marriage or cheated on someone cast the first stone. Please.

So then we were talking about how gay people OBVIOUSLY cause hurricanes, and Kevin said, they would be caused by too many of them being FABULOUS.

And I said, YES, and there has to be pink and purple clouds, and of course a rainbow. And he said, Prince and PURPLE RAIN.

And I said, and it rains glitter!! We laughed and then discussed what a mess it would be to clean up.

So I made art of it, and the Minnesota people can look up at Prince and say, hey homie.

😁😁😁