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Life has come to a nexus.

Take one path to one future. Take another path to another future.

Choices I made last year affected my life today. A series of seemingly unrelated actions brought me right here. To tonight.

It all ends, or begins, here tonight. Choice is yours.

A Life For A Life

I went to Easter Vigil Mass. As I sat there before Mass wondering at my fate, I saw a man I knew.

He wasn’t dressed for Easter. He was in a white T shirt, sweatpants, a dirty ball cap. His hair was unkempt. He wore a rosary around his neck that looked worn.

His head was bowed. Begging for hope. Begging for mercy. Begging for life.

He isn’t the sort of man that enters a church and definitely not on Easter.

I recognized him. He had literally saved my life.

Yeah!! That guy!!

He was the one with the rosary, the one who called out lest I die. I owed him a life debt for that pretty literally.

Tonight I made good on it. Walked over, said hi.

He looked up. His eyes focused. Then he said, you’re the lady I saved that day. And I said, yes I am and smiled.

He started telling me about his deep hunger for Jesus Christ and salvation that had driven him to church that night. In the pew, begging for mercy and life.

He knew he needed it. Didn’t know how to get it. Came to church looking for it.

I smiled. I said he came to the right place and I would pray for him. He said yes please do, ma’am.

I put my hand on his shoulder and led him through the Sinner’s Prayer. He was so beautiful about it, so humble. I even threw in giving himself to Jesus forever and he said it, in his own words.

I said, remember this is the night everything changed and your new life began. And was verklempt.

It was for me too.

I told him, you saved my life. Tonight I returned the favor. Through Jesus Christ, that is.

He was sooooo happy.

But Mass Hadn’t Even Started Yet

Normally this is where you go home with a good feeling in your heart. But I said, why should the story end here? I bet that guy is scared.

So I went and sat with him. I will be your buddy, I said. Just follow me and I will lead you through.

Judgmental Glances

It was Easter and the good people of the world had come to church. What was this unkempt crazy looking guy doing here?

He said, I brought my soda in here. I said, don’t worry about it. We got up, processed out.

He was shy and uncomfortable. He knew people were feeling judgmental. I was determined to take care of him. I owed him my life! I wasn’t in any way going to abandon him after that.

The Sacred Fire

We went out and got candles. At Easter Vigil, a fire is lit which the priest blesses. An Easter Candle is lit. The people then all light their candles from that candle.

We come alive with the holy fire of Jesus and bring Him into church. Lit from the Paschal candle as the source, and shared with everyone.

I got him a candle, explained the meaning of it. Told him what we were all about to do and why.

He talked about that candle like it was a link to life. The Light of Christ. He got it in spades.

A Wild Bird

He was feeling uncomfortable and moved to the edge of it all. I walked over with him. There were some questioning looks my way.

I said, this man saved my life. Told the story.

Faces melted. Kind smiles. The lady I was speaking to told me it was all about Jesus. He had risen.

I had told him I wanted to see the fire lit and walked over. He said ok.

When we processed into the church, I looked for him. He had left his soda on top of the trash can as it was full. He wasn’t there.

Neither was the candle.

I bet that candle becomes that guy’s most precious personal possession. The memento of the night it finally all went right.

Like a wild bird, he did what he seemed best to him.

The Sign

I had gone to attend church and perform a sign. Not a miracle. A normal, every day action that would nonetheless reveal my thoughts and intentions unmistakably.

More than one person looked for this sign, all for their own reasons.

I did it!! I had come to the edge of all I knew. Performing this ordinary, every day action was jumping off a cliff.

Well a few things can happen if you jump off a cliff. You fall, you die.

Or maybe you are strapped to an instructor. And that guy has a parachute. ❤❤❤

The time of dying is over and gone. Let us all rise to new life in Jesus Christ!!!

 

Oh beautiful priceless dwelling of God!
Tears and prayers and mourners salute you!
As you perish in flames today.
Centuries of believers
Confessions, communions, hearts outpoured.
Many fine men and women of old
Came to the Lord in those walls.
Built to honor the Lord in every flying buttress.
A true temple of light.
Rest in peace, great and noble lady.
Je t’aime.

Seren Wild © 2019.

Notre Dame Cathedral In France Engulfed In Flames.

Life.

I was not, never, given a normal life.

I was the baby that astonished the relatives by being able to recognize and articulate numbers at 18 months. The child who read books at age three.

In first grade, the teacher read to us. She sat in a big chair and read to the class.

One day she gave me the book. I sat in the chair and read to the class. I was in first grade.

This went on. All my life. Incredibly smart. Called quietly into the teacher’s office in sixth grade with my friend. We tested off the charts, college level.

He couldn’t handle gifts like that; his life went off the rails. I hope he is better now.

I performed all my life. Got on stage at age four. Had performed before 1K people by age eight.

Life to me was, being in show choir. Being at a performance, finally feeling like I fit in. Belonged.

Then had to get up and accept an award.

Life to me was, I was part of a school organization. I worked hard but others did too. I got the award and didn’t want it. The kids who did were frustrated.

My mother kept all my awards and trophies. Asked more than once if I wanted them. No, never. To me they were garbage. Left them at the house I grew up in, never looked back.

Life.

I am on a stage, lots of people. I got on a stage at age four, basically grew up on one. Vice president of the forensics and debate team. I lettered in it.

I am comfortable, know how to do this. It comes easily.

My social media accounts have gone crazy. One feels like a rock concert. I have star billing; they all came to see me. I relax and handle it; I have been doing this since I was very young.

But then I step off the stage. Leave and go into the streets. And am alone.

Someone who loves me deeply truly purely love that person so epicly too, beyond any ability to describe it. They are literally a world away.

Can’t be solved right now. You live with what is.

I met a guy once. He took a selfie with me; I let him. He lives in the tunnels with whoever else.

He was crazy, messed up, full of secrets but a kind heart. He loves his mother.

Took that picture into the secret world of the tunnels. Last time I ran into him he looked much better. Was glad to see it.

Sometimes I imagine I am down in that fabled secret tunnel system. Not with him. With them, whoever lives there. I feel if crap hit the fan could find them and be welcomed.

I go eat bean soup with people from Nogales. I profane their food by adding salsa and key lime juice that were never meant to be added. They laugh at me goodnaturedly, say they will have to try it that way.

They love I love them; they’re teaching me Spanish. Invited me to be part of their Good Friday procession and dress like a Bible character.

The pastor from church who is pushing hard to get my ID situation fixed so I can work at his church. See my secretary; money isn’t an issue. We need you in compliance as you are involved in everything.

My neighbors who are sorry I loaned my cart to someone I was helping and she stole it. Taking me to the food bank. I hang out on the steps and talk with them.

These people keep me sane.

Today is the one year anniversary of the day I arrived at the place. Special delivery, sender unknown. Will you accept delivery?

The guy running the place signed for me. He had no idea. Neither did I.

Today I salute my familia. They know who they are. They live in the secret world of the tunnels, if not literally. You keep what happens there to yourself. You know who you belong to.

While you pretend to be somebody else.

I love ALL of you. So very very very dearly.

Love,

Wonder Woman ❤❤❤

https://youtu.be/wPIzcu6jZPM

 

 

 

 

 

So this morning, pondering the Lord’s direction and plans for my life. He led me to some Scriptures, but on the way looking for them, guess where the Bible opened?

The story of Jephthah’s Daughter (Judges 11). The title of this blog. The whole freaking point of why I started this blog to begin with!!

He is good like that. Today He led me into the deep meaning of the story.

Summary

I do not feel able this morning to make a long post, so I will just tell what He showed me in a few brief points.

1. Jephthah was a powerful, chosen Judge of Israel.
2. Jephthah was led and empowered by the Spirit of the Lord to move against the Ammonites.
3. The Spirit of the Lord was upon him when he made his vow.
4. He and his forces defeated TWENTY CITIES. What a huge victory!
5. The sacrifice the Lord chose to pay the vow was Jephthah’s daughter.
6. Jephtah and his daughter both submitted to the Lord’s Will and she was offered as a burnt sacrifice as Jephthah promised.

This has created incredible consternation to this DAY. Why would the Lord do this? Lots of ink on the internet as people try to decipher this.

The Lord Demands What Is Most Precious To You

Here is what I believe. I saw through my reading Jephthah, led by the Spirit and placed in his position by the will of the Lord and the people, did what he was led to do.

As a godly man, before the battle, he surrendered to the Lord. I will give You anything if You give the victory. That is a godly thing to do. Everything is a gift from Jesus. Even we ourselves are.

He made a vow with the intent of denying the Lord nothing. It is all Yours, Lord. I trust You so much I will allow You to select the sacrifice.

The Lord then gave Jephthah the victory. Twenty cities!! Think a large portion of the USA, that is what the Lord delivered into his hands. No small feat!

Jephthah came home. Discovered the sacrifice the Lord had selected was…his daughter.

The Bible passages describe the father daughter relationship clearly and poignantly. She was his world. His life. And he was hers.

The Lord gave him a great victory…and demanded the most precious thing in Jephthah’s life, the person he valued the MOST, in return.

The Lord is against human sacrifice in general. But Jephthah had promised a burnt offering. He and his daughter both understood they had to fulfill the vow. She consented. And this was done.

The Lord then instituted four days of national mourning for Jephthah’s daughter yearly.

I saw this in Ezekiel too, where the Lord took Ezekiel’s wife (Ezekiel 24:15-27) to be a sign of the destruction of the temple. He had to get up the next day and minister, and did.

There Are Serious Consequences For Refusing The Lord

The man I was with at the time I discovered this passage; he couldn’t fathom losing me. He put me first above what the Lord called him to do.

He lost it all as a result. Everything without exception. Including me. He even lost me.

There is a movie describing this most of you have seen. Character by the name of Anakin Skywalker. He had a dream his wife would die. Became obsessed with keeping her alive.

As a result, he abandoned his principles. His goodness. Evil promised him what he wanted, just come to the Dark Side Anakin. We will give you the power to save Padme.

Here is how it ended for that guy.

And as a result of all his actions, Padme died too.

Well This Sounds Very Hopeless…

So what are you saying? I love someone, so she will die? Is that what you’re saying? If I don’t agree to this, I myself will lose everything and die also? Or become a monster, Seren?

No. That is not what I am saying.

These are stories given to us to show the Lord demands it all, what is most precious to us. He gives the best and takes the best in return.

Star Wars isn’t there to preach Jesus Christ. It is a ripping good story. It works as people know in their hearts this is the truth. Nothing to do with Christianity at all.

What Does This Mean? I Need To Know!

I am not gonna die. I mean, yeah eventually as we all do. But that is not the fate laid out for me. Failure isn’t the fate. The Lord didn’t create all He has done to destroy it.

He demands you offer it. You put Him first. You risk it all. He demands that most precious thing to you. He might take it away. In this case, He didn’t create it to then just randomly, pointlessly destroy it all. He is Jesus Christ, not the fabled Kali Ma.

The point is that, to win the whole pot you must risk the whole pot. Hold nothing back.

The Bible, myths and modern movies describe the consequences of playing it safe.

Be that risk taker. So you can win EVERYTHING. ❤❤❤

I utterly utterly believe in this. And you. ❤❤❤

 

 

Pastor Chris McFarland studied theology at Maryland Bible College and Seminary. He has been in ministry many years. He lives in Florida, happily married to his beloved wife of 39 years. You can find his online writings here.

What kind of love is this? I do not know. It goes beyond my deepest thought and tears down its biggest foe. It is a love that brings everything it is and has to the table. It brings an extensive provision and has a detailed plan for its beloved. And it is not just in the New Testament. But also, in the Old. As these verses will show:

Hosea 14:1–9 (ESV)
Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity. Take with you words and return to the LORD; say to him, “Take away all iniquity; accept what is good, and we will pay with bulls the vows of our lips. Assyria shall not save us (we were wrong to think so); we will not ride on horses (we were so wrong to think so); and we will say no more, ‘Our God,’ to the work of our hands (We were so wrong to say this). In you the orphan finds mercy.” (God says in reply) “I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them. I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily; he shall take root like the trees of Lebanon; his shoots shall spread out; his beauty shall be like the olive, and his fragrance like Lebanon. They shall return and dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain; they shall blossom like the vine; their fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon. O Ephraim, what have I to do with idols? It is I who answer and look after you. I am like an evergreen cypress; from me comes your fruit.”

Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them.

And then in the New we find these words to take with us as well:

Jude 17–25 (ESV)
But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, “In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.” It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh. Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

We read long passages like these and we marvel at the purpose and love of God for and in our lives. But just what words are we to take with us as we return to our God. We know we are sinful and unworthy, so what is it we can hang on to encourage us, as we return to God? Well here are further expressions of the love of God we can hang on to in the middle of all the projections that will fly at us from the enemy, the atmosphere, and our own insecurities. Words from our God:

Hosea 2:19–23 (ESV)
I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD. “And in that day I will answer, declares the LORD, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’ ”

2 Samuel 3:14 (ESV)
Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.”

For here is our God saying to all involved:

Give me my wife, for whom I paid the bridal price. David met the bridal price for his wife, Michal. But I have sent my son. He has paid with his own blood. He has laid down his life and paid the highest price anyone could ever pay. And this bride comes with no capacity and no assets of her own.

And what does this God say:

I will love them freely. I will betroth you to me forever. I will deck you out in my righteousness, in my satisfied justice, in my steadfast love, in pure mercy and absolute faithfulness. She who has no value and who is called “No Mercy” will receive and obtain my mercy. She who is forsaken, who is called “Not My People” shall be called “My People,” and they shall answer me in response: “You are my God.”

Here is the God of the entire universe calling out to all who will hear:

Revelation 22:17 (ESV)
The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.

Hosea 14:4 (ESV)
I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them.

Hosea 2:19–20 (ESV)
And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.

Here are promises from our God who does not and cannot lie. This betrothal has no human uncertainty or clever vacillation in it. There are no escape clauses or exceptions in it.

These are great and precious promises from a God who knows everything about us and still declares: “I will betroth you to me forever.” He freely paid the highest bridal price and lavishly brings a divine ‘bridewealth’ to his beloved that is beyond comparison. He never asks for a divine discount at any time. Despite our condition, he lavishly love us and declares: “I will love them freely.”

Lord Jesus, how we desire to “return and dwell beneath your shadow.” To know this depth and quality of love as our own. Make it so, precious Jesus. Amen!!!

 

 

Life changes, and changes again.

I really think the only thing predictable about walking with Jesus is the sheer unpredictability of it. You make plans. God laughs, and trashes your plans.

I have found a wonderful man I plan on spending the rest of my life with. Not ready yet to say who, but we are making plans.

In preparation for this wonderful future state of affairs, the Lord gave me a Bible study about how to be a good wife.

In accordance with, you share the Lord’s gifts ALWAYS, I am sharing here.

The text was Song of Solomon, also known as Song of Songs. People have strong feelings about this book. They tend to ignore it.

It talks about SEX pretty explicitly and everyone has lost their minds because of that! Well the Lord created sex, so He left instructions about that too!

How People View Sex

When I thought I was dying (and was very ill), I encountered firsthand people are messed up and in denial when it comes to death.

Plug My Ears, Say La La La

Faith healing is real. Jesus is the Great Physician Who desires health, wholeness and holiness.

But what was bad was that people forced it down my throat. I am grateful everyone wanted me alive, truly.

The problem is no one would accept people die. We all die. I kept saying, graveyards are full of dead bodies that once belonged to Christians. The Lord doesn’t ALWAYS heal, hello.

People didn’t listen mostly. They acted out of their inability to cope with death. Unfortunately, the Enemy has that all figured out. So out of that came a malicious subspecies of Christianity that is occult, not true Christianity at all.

Sex Is The Other Thing Like That

What images just came to mind when I said the word SEX?

When Your Mom Finds Porn On Your Computer

For most adults, you have had sex. All those memories flooded into your mind. Probably a lot of them not good.

Sex In Today’s World

In the today’s world, sex is cheap. Trashy. College students have sex a lot; it is expected. Occasionally they have relationships as a result. This isn’t healthy for anybody.

Adults aren’t doing much better. I heard a brief “funny” blip on a TV show ad. The female character was saying she liked a certain sexual position “because there is no eye contact.”

It is a clear reference to shame you are having sex without intimacy, maybe without knowing your partner even. People meet, have sex, never speak again.

The True Nature Of Sex Crimes

People in general get all up in arms in a special and bad way about sex crimes. In prison, it is ok to be a murderer, thief, drug user, financial criminal, gang member.

Sex offenders get sent to special prisons. Nobody even discusses their existence. You get released from one, you never tell. You never talk about being a sex offender.

They are the lowest of the low. They are put in special populations in part so other prisoners don’t just murder them wholesale.

Why? Sex crimes violate a person’s soul, their being. It goes far beyond physical sensations. It does fundamental damage that can last a lifetime.

Sex crimes are someone got in YOU, broke into YOU with a gun or knife, and they scrawled cusswords with a red Sharpie on your deceased mother’s photo. Your mother who was your world, and that was your only photo of her. They defaced it: it’s ruined.

Sex crimes create wounds and damage DIRECTLY to the soul and spirit. These can only be healed spiritually also. So they are the worst of the worst.

So People Therefore Think Sex Is Bad

They have a backdrop of societal crap, their personal history, denial and repression, or conversely expression so uninhibited, sex is as valueless as chewing gum. Chewing gum at least freshens your breath.

They are therefore offended the Lord talks about sex in Song of Songs. The Bible is holy! Sex is not! How could something as unholy as sex be in the Bible??

The debate rages even now. This excellent article explains the history of Solomon and addresses the ongoing controversy.

Basically, Song of Songs is about the love story between a king and his wife. They have sex and it talks about this. It is 2019; we are all sexually liberated, and people are still losing their minds!!!

Song Of Songs Is The Forgotten Stepchild Of Bible Books

That is too bad no one will read it or preach on it, just because it talks about boobies. It contains the Lord’s instructions on how to build a strong, lasting marriage!

I am not afraid of reading about boobies or sex, and I wanted the Lord’s BEST, so I read this prayerfully. It is packed with great info for wives!!

Follow Your Husband

My last relationship before this, he gave me some great insight into how men actually see women.

The Queen

We were on the bus. A woman with a beautiful body and impeccable, stylish dress boarded. Beautiful face, body, clothes. She could have been a model. Maybe she was.

She also had an ego and attitude the size of a Mack truck. My boyfriend quietly said, don’t mess with the queen, and his attitude was disgust.

I looked at other men. They briefly checked her out, then went back to whatever. They appeared to feel the same.

When we all got off the bus, everyone including me walked on one side of the parking lot. Nobody wanted to be near the massive ego the woman with a beautiful body had; she stalked off alone.

Men Like A Woman To Respond To Them

Song of Songs talks over and over about the king initiating everything and the bride following his lead. This ideal bride is humble yet capable; she is the keeper of vineyards (1:6).

Yet she responds to her husband’s direction. He INITIATES; she RESPONDS. He brings her into his chambers, tells her to follow his flock, brings her to the banqueting house, and sets a banner over her.

He does all this and she just trusts and follows. There is no manipulating him, controlling him, or usurping his authority; he is a king. Men in their own homes SHOULD get treated like kings, honestly.

It Isn’t All About You, Ladies

Men in part respond to women like “the queen” badly because that behavior is emasculating to them. It somehow goes against their fundamental natures as men. This isn’t coincidence.

We women don’t get strong men in part because we are busy being dominant. I myself am a VERY strong dominant person. I scare men!

But that isn’t appropriate behavior in a marriage. Your husband will end up angry and resentful while you redecorate the house, run everything, have to have it all your way.

They will sit alone dejectedly while you shop for clothes. Make bitter jokes about women. And one day you’ll be in divorce court. And will be why??? What happened???

How Did You Bag This Great Man, Seren?

The Lord gave me the BEST. I mean the best, the man of many women’s dreams who literally has it ALL. He is gorgeous, smart, successful, personable, kind, a MAN not a boy. He swept me off my feet! He is romantic and thoughtful. He didn’t want me to text and walk; I might stumble and hurt myself.

He cares about my feelings; we talk every day. He wants to take care of me; make me happy. I will be your knight in shining armor, he said. And he will. This wonderful man is a DREAM COME TRUE.

How did you win him??? I talked to him!!

I was kind. I offered to be friends. I paid attention to him. I tried to meet his needs.

It utterly snowballed from there. But it started out because I was willing to chat with him, pay attention to him, make him the center of the conversation and not ME.

Appreciate Your Husband. You Married Him For A Reason, Right?

Your poor husband needs appreciated. I say “poor” as masculinity is under serious attack. We are teaching boys they are inferior. This is toxic!! This will make them weak men!!

How To Appreciate Your Husband

• Compliment whatever you like best about his looks. My future husband has gorgeous dark hair, a rough sexy growl of a voice, a completely fit and toned body, sharp good looking face, and a brilliant smile. He’s mine, no share!!
• Praise him publicly. Show him off to everyone. Be proud and happy of him. He is the best thing since sliced bread, so tell all your friends that!
• Encourage him to be himself. Not who you want him to be. Help him be his very best authentic, genuine self.
• Support him in his relationships. Family, friends, business. Try to be a friend to his friends in an appropriate way.Particularly support and help with however he makes a living; this is VITAL.
• Look at him through rose colored glasses. Focus on just the good stuff. Your husband isn’t perfect, but neither are you! Focus on what is best about him. This will magnify it and bring it out in all ways.
• Take some time to look and smell good to him. You do not need to be a fashion icon. Wear nice clothes, makeup if that suits you; do your hair and nails. Shower daily and use perfume or body spray. Shave and use lotion. Don’t live in sweatpants and messy hair. This will make you feel better too!!

You Are A Beautiful Garden

For your husband and your husband alone. He needs you to belong to ONLY him, or he will never truly trust you. He will not relax in the garden of you if other men are there. You are an exclusive, private garden for him and him only!!

Your job is to tend the garden of you (he married YOU for a reason also) and make it produce the following things:

Fragrance

It doesn’t seem like an aroma should be a huge deal but it is. The Lord talks about pleasing aromas to Him throughout His Word. Aromatherapy uses the sense of smell to treat many conditions.

Basically fragrance evokes a complex emotional response. It can take you right back to Mum baking cookies at Christmas when you were five, and all those good feelings. It engages the soul and spirit in a powerful, intimate way.

You yourself want to be a pleasing aroma to your husband. The smell of home, and flowers, and coffee and apple pie. You do this via your emotional and spiritual connection to him.

To be a pleasing aroma, you must stay spiritually healthy through having and maintaining a strong relationship with Jesus Christ. Otherwise, you will be a stench he will avoid.

Fruit

Your husband will come to the garden that is you, and eat and be nourished by the fruit he finds there. What fruit? Fruits of the spirit. There is good fruit and poisonous fruit. You want to produce good, nutritious fruit through a strong relationship with Jesus Christ.

Intoxication

This isn’t getting drunk or high via substance abuse. This is getting intoxicated in the Holy Spirit!!

Whoa does this mean I have to go to charismatic prayer meetings with him? What are you talking about??

No. It means living a Spirit-filled life. This will then produce spiritual intoxication.

In Song of Songs, when it talks about wine it means spiritual intoxication. Pagans then believed to drink wine was to drink God and unite with the Divine. So they incorporated drunkenness into their rituals.

The experience of spiritual intoxication is intense love and joy. Early Christians lived this. You want this with your husband right??

The Results

If you properly tend your garden, if you are the scent of roses, produce the choicest mangoes, and are the best most amazing wine he has ever had, he will come live in the garden of you and never want to leave. What happens then is mature love. Here is the best description of that I know:

“Fasten me upon your heart as a seal of fire forevermore. This living, consuming flame
will seal you as my prisoner of love. 
My passion is stronger than the chains of death and the grave, all consuming as the very flashes of fire from the burning heart of God.
Place this fierce, unrelenting fire over your entire being.” ~ Song of Songs 8:6, Passion Translation.

Conclusion

The Twilight movies did so well because so many women secretly wanted to be Bella. They spawned Fifty Shades of Grey.

The Lord has so much better planned for you. ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is one of the most epic things to happen to me in a lifetime of very very cool stuff the Lord has done.

The SD Card Comes Back From The Dead

First of all, the SD card on my phone got corrupted. This didn’t surprise me. It was old and had been written to a lot. End of lifespan.

It had been wonky for awhile, so when my phone reported it was corrupted (and the phone used THAT word), I wrote it off. Planned on buying a new one.

One day, however, my phone informed me a new SD card had been inserted. As I hadn’t replaced the SD card, needless to say, I was shocked.

On that card were playable music files. But only the ones the Lord wanted to remain. The stuff He didn’t like didn’t reappear.

There are ways to fix a corrupt SD card. It is hard and no guarantees of success. I did none of these in any case. I didn’t touch it at all.

Wow. OK the Lord did the impossible. I shared this, and He encouraged people with this.

The Lord Gives A Sign. A Blazing, Neon Sign.

Today discerning life changes and direction. I didn’t ask the Lord for a sign that my life was on track and I was right with Him.

But He gave me one anyway. A very very big obvious sign unexplainable by any means except JESUS DID IT.

I put on my Amazon Christian music playlist I had compiled out of my online music. Listened and was like whoa, do not remember putting this on there.

Listened further. More unfamiliar songs. One was on an album I have, but I had NEVER LISTENED TO IT.

I really started to freak. This wasn’t my list. At all. In any way. It was from albums I added/bought but NOT my list. Stuff I wouldn’t have thought of is on it.

Jesus gave me a personal praise and worship playlist, y’all!!!

And here is the rule when you get special gifts from the Lord. You share. You share and share and share. Jesus gives gifts to be given away!!

I made Jesus Christ’s Playlist a YouTube playlist. There are 70 videos. 70. Numbers are important to the Lord. ❤

Here it is! SHARE! SHARE! SHARE!!!

 

So good news!

All conditions I reported here are true and correct. I have them.

My interpretation of them wasn’t, however.

I finally had a PCP appointment. Previous PCP wasn’t taking care of me, and I was only getting feedback from specialists. I was confused therefore.

I saw her yesterday morning. We talked about my echo and lung issues.

She said echo is explained by my past serious health issues and not bad for my actual age. Lung nodule isn’t a concern at this time.

She saw other things that make her not worry about what I saw. Said, as I lost a lot of weight and got very fit, prognosis is great! Said I was anxious about my health.

Anxiety can be treated. A bad case of death cannot.

Yay!!!

I have bounced back and forth about this here. Basically, this post is where the Lord says He reset me. I would take it as read that the truth is as follows:

• I was under some kind of spirit of death, perceived by others as well as me. The Lord said He would take me at that time.
• He then told me to repent of my death wish and proclaim and believe He is my life.
• As a result of repentance, obedience and His resultant grace, I lived. He changed His mind. He did this also in the Book of Jonah.
• I then later panicked and posted all this stuff due to anxiety about health. My doctor refuted what I believed.
• I am an imperfect person writing a personal blog. I write my opinions and try to keep them error free. The Lord testified about me I am imperfect and will fail. Only He is perfect and 100% reliable. I testify this about myself also.

In conclusion, DISCERN EVERYTHING. I will be wrong sometimes. Everyone will sometimes. Only Jesus is never wrong.

Even with the Bible, seek the correct interpretation. Interpretation, NOT translation. Many good translations out there. What is the Lord telling you? What is the objective meaning of what you are reading?

If a teacher says they are always right; don’t question me, and especially then if they are threatening and controlling about that, RUN.

Ask questions. Think for yourself. Learn critical thinking skills. Cults and any controlling, abusive organizations HATE that. 😁😁😁

Yay I get to live!!!!

Honesty.

I was just looking at last photos of famous people before they died. The one of Robin Williams…I am unsurprised looking at it, he committed suicide awhile later.

All the ones who committed suicide, you can see it in their eyes although their faces generally wear smiles.

Some of the ones fighting illness, like me, just went on until they didn’t. Worked and then stopped. Never stopped living until the very end.

Think that will be me.

I look great! My new PCP was very confused by my bad echo and the apparently healthy patient who handed her the paperwork.

She looked it all over, the echo with my notes, made a copy, and scheduled standard tests.

Then I had a bradycardic episode in her office.

People always wish they had an episode of their illness where the doc can witness it. Praise Jesus, that happened.

You know it is bad when the EKG machine doesn’t give a reading, spits out crap. Maybe the machine.

But then it finally does give a reading. And the tech breathlessly says, “I am going to leave you hooked up to the machine and get the doc, ok?”

That is bad.

And then the doc comes. Nothing is said. Next I hear she has beamed all to a cardiologist. I tell the tech, make sure she knows I was diagnosed with bradycardia and Long QTc syndrome.

I talk about heart replacement. I have a nice chat with the tech. Now noticing she didn’t disagree with that.

How the surgeon won’t write a home health aide order. He doesn’t care cardiology cleared me; he doesn’t want me to die on the table.

So his office is pestering him, get a backup plan, nothing yet.

With few exceptions, most of the people in those pics knew their time was almost up.

People say, the Lord can heal you! But He said He won’t.

Body been collapsing for some time. The heart abnormalities are related to serious lung issues, evidenced by a nodule and history of oxygen therapy.

The fact my heart was healthy for years, but is now structurally abnormal, means the lung issues have been there a long time.

My research indicates the whole thing is of a piece. It explains the Reynaud’s, potassium deficiency, even anemia. I had Reynaud’s and anemia in Denver.

Why is my thyroid insanely low? That started in 2017. My research says that is part of this as well.

Did the heart issues cause severe hypothyroidism or vice versa? Chicken and egg.

It is even related to my liver disease. Denver noted all these things. No one put it all together, just made a long list of diverse conditions.

That echo explained nearly all my health conditions.

I was looking for a sign to cancel surgery. Multiple heart conditions and a serious lung condition good enough for you, doubting Thomas?

I very much sense the world is going to go on without me not a long while from now.

Not long at all.