Training In Death’s Dojo

So I have a definite science bent. I am fascinated with the process of dying. Looked it up, what are the typical symptoms, where am I in the process.

Death Is A Process

As most people are massively freaking out and I alone am somewhat objective about it, will just say yes what I am going through matches descriptions of what happens during the dying process.

I will say to my surprise people do not just keel over. You can start the process of dying and live for weeks or even months.

The active death phase can take up to three days!

This timeframe generally applies to death from illness, like what is happening to me. A bullet to the brain or sudden cardiac arrest will take you out rather fast.

I See Dead People

I also noticed that the articles (mostly on hospice sites) talked about visions/hallucinations/delusions. Claims of talking to deceased people and whatnot.

The general advice is pat the dying person on the head and put on their favorite music. Good recommendation on the music. Now have it going all the time.

Above all, these articles say, do not disbelieve the dying person. This will upset them, and it happens to so many it is considered a normal death experience.

But the overall attitude is this is weird, unexplainable phenomena. It isn’t, will talk more about that in a bit.

Hospices Are Kind Places

Hospice care is basically whatever care is needed to ensure calm and comfortable so the patient passes peacefully.

Ironically I volunteered at two hospices, even worked in medical records.

Amusingly, patients didn’t die; they were discharged. In the case they lived or moved to another hospice, that was called a live discharge.

Everyone deals with stuff in their own way. That is why people use euphemisms; it distances them emotionally from hard realities.

Hospices always attracted me; end of life care attracted me. I follow the Confessions of a Funeral Director guy on Facebook. Bought his book too.

Facing My Own Death

I had to go through training to volunteer at the second hospice. (The first one I played piano for so no training required.) An essential part of that training was facing and accepting my own mortality.

I had to write about matters related to my own death, face any feelings about that. Maybe that is part of how ok I am with it now.

Above and beyond any training I have faced and cheated death so many times a little surprised Death will finally win a match.

Playing Mortal Kombat With Death

There have been crucial spiritual battles I consider life-threatening. More than I will recount.

But there were also three suicide attempts, two of which landed me in ICU. Emergency gallbladder surgery that nearly ended in sepsis. Sepsis is basically multiple organ failure due to massive infection.

I also had cellulitis with bacteremia. Praise the Lord the antibiotics worked. The CDC was consulted on that one and they considered amputation!

Oh I guess I did have sepsis, but as they didn’t want me to massively panic they called it bacteremia. Woo, almost died pretty literally.

There are other incidents too I cannot discuss. Not to mention all the hospitalizations over suicidal ideations too numerous to mention.

So Death a familiar sparring partner, spent years training in his dojo. Learned unique and difficult lessons there.

Death Is Primarily Spiritual

Common symptoms of death, according to hospice literature, are:

  • Visions/delusions/hallucinations.
  • Claims of speaking with deceased people.
  • Agitation.
  • Anxiety.

Science has gone to a tremendous amount of trouble to deny the existence of the spirit world. So what I attribute all this is to the spiritual component of death.

Hospices acknowledge there is one but speak of it in the most general terms. As they serve all, they have to accommodate all spiritual beliefs or lack thereof. So this is sensible.

I believe completely in Jesus Christ Who literally keeps me alive. So I assert these “symptoms” are the natural consequences of dying and being utterly unprepared for this.

What Is Out There In The Great Beyond?

The spirit world is quite real. All this activity happens to a soul waking up to final realities and oh crap what do I do now???

Dying can be painful. Most people in hospice suffer minimal pain, so something else must be causing all that upset and anxiety.

The visions are quite real. Speaking to an apparently deceased person means the dying person has contacted a spirit. Of course it upsets them if you disbelieve as this is the truth!

Preparation For Death Is Essentially Spiritual

All the meds and treatment given in hospice care are to keep the patient calm and comfortable. The dying soul has tough work to do, and every soul does this work differently.

Hospices say spiritual health at this juncture consists of doing the following:

  1. Forgiving those who have harmed you.
  2. Seeking forgiveness from those you have harmed.
  3. Expressing gratitude for good things.
  4. Expressing love towards loved ones.
  5. Tell people goodbye.

I am taking notes from the experts and doing this. But this is spiritual work!

I will accept expert opinion that probably people who do these have easier deaths than those who don’t.

Tug Of War

I utterly believe your soul is in a lifelong tug of war between the Lord Jesus Christ and Satan, Good and the inferior Evil. You will end up in one camp or the other regardless of what you thought in life.

The agitation/visions/etc. are from finding out this is reality you weren’t prepared for, and frantically trying to cope last minute.

I am so happy and at peace people find this remarkable. This is because I am well prepared spiritually.

Jesus Christ Holds The Keys Of Hell And Death

“I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.” ~ Revelation 1:18, KJV.

I believe in Jesus Christ. He came in the flesh and is my personal Lord and Savior. I love Him beyond life.

He loves me back! He died for me; He is always there for me, and has granted many favors and graces besides.

If you would like a life full of joy and a peaceful happy death, please pray with me:

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your gift of salvation. I admit I am a sinner in need of Your salvation. I believe and accept your Son Jesus Christ, Who is fully God and fully human, came in the flesh, died for my sins, was buried and was raised from the dead. I invite Him into my heart to be my personal Lord and Savior. Thank You for loving me enough to save me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I Prayed The Prayer, What Do I Do Now?

These are good churches that will get you started on your new walk with the Lord.

Victory Worship Center, Tucson, Arizona, USA.

The River Church, Salem, Oregon, USA.

Life.Church (online ministry).

The Lord Jesus Christ abundantly bless you all! ❤❤❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of What Life I Have Lived

I wrote this January 22, 2017.

SO IN THE MEANTIME…
(because remember,
waiting!)
he said
live, then die!
and I pondered this.
Of what life I have lived
what I did
what I didn’t do.
And I have…
made some music
made some art
wrote things
danced
gone topless joyriding
gone skinny dipping
made it to Aspen
fell trying to ski
rode horses
rode one to dinner
shot arrows
made leather wallets
made jewelry
been scared out of my mind
laughed my ass off
played hide and seek
as a college student
saw the mystery
of pure white snow
held my nieces
gave counsel to people
gave comfort to people
pissed a lot of people off
some came back
many not
played with dry ice
swang on a tire swing
over the ditch
and fell in
saw some beautiful clouds
saw dragon clouds
loved my baby kitty
and put him to sleep
when it was his time
yeah I didn’t make a lot of money
and I didn’t become famous
but I lived.
OK, life: achievement unlocked.
And now back to waiting…

~ Seren Wild © 2017.

 

About Forgiveness

So I was doing a little work on the blog, finishing up some stuff my most recent employer asked, and dry on inspiration.

My friend said, please do the post on forgiveness I asked you to do. I said, okay here goes.

So my friend’s wife is dying. Furthermore she is dying due to someone’s malice. There is nothing that can be done now; she is dying and this cannot be reversed. They don’t know how long.

He recently came to Jesus, and it was very much troubling his newfound relationship with Him, trying to come to terms with the guy responsible.

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” ~ Matthew 6:14-15.

He knew he had to forgive this guy or risk his salvation. But it is his WIFE. All the years he will spend alone instead of having her with him. That is hard to forgive indeed.

Maverick, I said, you need to forgive this guy because he is not worth your time. He is not worth a single tear or the slightest stain on your soul.

He is not worth the smallest pain. The slightest suffering. He is not worth jeopardizing your relationship with Jesus or missing out on blessings.

You need to forgive him because forgiveness is the Lord’s great soul cleanse. By forgiving him you can get rid of the bad feelings, the anger, let the Lord heal the harm done.

Forgive him not because he deserves it. Because YOU deserve it.

Forgive him. Give the Lord all the bad feelings, the anger, the hatred, the rage, the pain, everything in your heart. Ask Him to remove it all. Let Him take it all, then ask Him to cleanse the wounds with His precious Blood and the water of the Word, and apply the soothing balm of grace.

Forgive, then ask the Lord to fill all the places where the anger and horror was with His Love, peace, grace and Holy Spirit. Ask the Lord to fill all the empty spaces with Himself.

Cancel the debts, cancel all of the debts. Give those debts to the Lord to be the debt collector. Let the Lord handle all that.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” ~ Romans 12:19.

“It is Mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” ~ Deuteronomy 32:35.

I said, the Lord will do far more to this guy than you EVER would have, as angry as you are. The Lord will be far meaner; His judgment and wrath will exceed anything you would have thought of doing.

Then Maverick, who has spiritual sight, this is what he experienced when he did all this.

First of all, all the crap came out of his heart when he forgave the guy and gave it to Jesus. Black stuff in various forms; this is pretty typically what the junk the Lord gets out of your heart looks like.

Second, the spiritual equivalent of invoices appeared when he canceled the debts and gave them to the Lord to collect. These appeared in the form of scrolls with red seals. There was one unusual contract: a blood debt which was very distinctive in appearance.

These were then given to a knight in red armor riding a red horse, who then rode off to collect them.

Maverick said the Lord gave him much light into what was happening with this guy and all that was his: now, future, and what would happen in eternity. It will not bring his wife back when she dies, or give him back those years they could have had together.

But this guy, having rejected Jesus Christ in a definitive way, will now owe every penny of those debts and all the others being laid at his door. No one to pay them; he will have to pay them all himself.

You cannot evade debt collectors from Heaven or Divine Justice. Maverick is obviously sad about his wife, but his soul is satisfied with the Lord’s justice.

“Don’t they know anything,
all these impostors?
Don’t they know
they can’t get away with this,
Treating people like a fast-food meal
over which they’re too busy to pray?

“Night is coming for them, and nightmare—
a nightmare they’ll never wake up from.
God will make hash of these squatters,
send them packing for good.” ~ Psalm 53:4-5, The Message.

Furthermore his soul is at peace. Obviously he is sad and grieving the upcoming loss, but his soul is at peace and rest, since he got rid of all that harm by forgiving the guy involved and giving all the bad stuff to the Lord.

He felt so good he started forgiving lots of other people too, recognizing forgiveness was for him and the Lord would avenge him or had avenged him against all who had harmed him in his life.

As a result of this, he has a great deal of peace and joy in spite of this difficult trial, and as I helped him see this he really wanted me to share. He says he wouldn’t have been able to forgive this guy any other way.

But now that he understands why and what forgiveness does for him, and that the Lord will avenge him above and beyond all he could ask or think, he feels free and happy, and his soul is satisfied.

I can attest I have seen in real life some of the terrible consequences that happened to some of my abusers and how the Lord brought them very low. I tell people what the Lord did and what I saw to encourage them He really does avenge the oppressed, that there are real life consequences for sin.

It is unlikely the people who hurt you deserve forgiveness. Maybe they repented and do. Many many times, though, especially with abuse you will never hear an apology. I never did. My abusers totally stand by their abuse actually.

I could carry that around but why? I have seen what the Lord did to them. They aren’t worth a single bad feeling or tear. I abundantly forgive all who have harmed me. May the Lord deal with them all as He sees fit.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Dry Bones, Come Alive

I woke up and this surprised me.

This is what I was experiencing. Everything highlighted. I did pass out/fall asleep.

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I made this out of the instructions the ER sent me home with. Clearly they said call 911.

I didn’t obviously. I didn’t because this isn’t caused by hypothyroidism. Even if it was, treatment wholly inadequate. Taking meds given as better than nothing. I cannot prescribe my own meds.

I didn’t because this is happening so frequently ambulances at my complex would be the new normal and I would get to know the regulars, as well as be an ER regular. I might as well give up my life, go live in the hospital.

No veins left at that point; I have upcoming surgery need veins for that.

So I thought maybe that was it. I am dying but the Lord didn’t tell me last night was it, and instead I woke up.

I am alive in a life literally given and sustained by Jesus, and He got me up another day so clearly still work to do.

He sent me a brother in Christ who talked to me about his struggles and history no one gets. But I do. He said, who will help me? No one understands or has time.

I said I understand and I have time. And light dawned. The Lord kept me alive to help this dear brother who wants that help.

And whoever else too.

Original mission complete. Recipient of God’s favor rejected all grace and now consequences, whatever they are. Not paying very close attention to that situation.

And now know for a fact I will be alive regardless of medical data saying otherwise as long as the Lord desires this. And die when He deems it my time, and not before.

He is the Lord where the Apostle Paul was stoned and they left him for dead. Stoning is generally not survivable; whole point of it is to make that person a corpse.

The angry mob did its work and left, satisfied they had succeeded.

Then Paul got up, with the help of other believers, and just went on!!

One benefit of recent mission is discovered Lauren Daigle, now a huge fan!

 

 

 

 

Praise and Worship

Praise the Lord above all because He legitimately deserves it. Due to His exalted position as Creator, and His mighty act of salvation through Christ Jesus, and all His other acts, He deserves this.

Praising the Lord puts you in right relationship with Him, as by this you acknowledge you are the creature and He is the Creator.

Praising the Lord acknowledges you need Him and cannot do it by yourself. It is the best act of humility possible.

It also chases off the enemy who cannot stand the Lord be praised.