So I prepared this for maybe publication, and the plan was totally to publish a version at some point. Every word true.
Survivor of severe childhood trauma. Physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, religious. Object of Munchausen’s by proxy.
Genius overachiever who pulled high grades and got tired of winning awards.
Developed case of multiple personality disorder as diagnosed by a psychiatrist years later.
Was possessed in 8th grade; exorcism occurred through prayers by high school youth director in early sophomore year.
Had concert of own compositions at age 14; was spotlighted in cable show that did feature on me.
Played Mary Poppins in 7th grade and was on TV.
In newspaper many times. Grew up performing in nursing homes; was in the USO.
Went to college on half tuition scholarship. Something happened and meltdown; memories came to light.
Ended up in rehab in Tucson although no addictions.
They met my family and lied to have me sent to California. Ended up in halfway house.
Got job as legal secretary and moved out.
Ended up in cult Al-Anon group and then Christian cult that is online as the Assembly.
Early attendance at Calvary Chapel and met Chuck Smith.
Was in Christian cult 3.5 years; classic cult rescue as roommates sent me on airplane back to parents.
Hooked up with man I married, met him in high school youth group at age 15.
Twenties were crazy: lots of job losses, homelessness, got raped in a Christian boarding house.
Also fun with singing with the Colorado Symphony Orchestra Chorus; performed at Fiddler’s Green, Aspen Music Festival, Boettcher Hall.
Skinny dipping at 2 AM in a public park on a Sunday morning, expedition led by me.
End of twenties working at a nuclear weapons plant, got married.
Quit job, got sick, four months later first psych hospitalization.
40+ psych hospitalizations, 3 nearly fatal suicide attempts, lots of therapy, met hundreds of patients literally, built mental health website (coded from scratch) and ran support groups.
Was contacted by a relative of Kurt Cobain to review her book for website.
Psychiatrist nearly murdered me with medications; over 300 pounds, on oxygen, too many symptoms, basically dying.
In Christmas of 2006, I got very very sick and bad snowstorm shut down Denver, unable to get medical help.
Had to go off meds as couldn’t keep them down (stomach flu) and everything improved!
Fired him shortly after; changed insurances. New doc took me off almost everything; miraculous recovery!
2008 went to Disneyworld, ended up with gallbladder symptoms while there and came home and had to have emergency gallbladder surgery.
Nearly went septic and died. Spent summer recovering.
That summer I got in contact with a friend of a friend who was intrigued by my life story and wanted to meet me.
In October he contacted me said he was flying to Denver, could we meet? We did, three days that changed my life forever.
Intense connection. Prior to him coming out, struggling with why should I continue to live, my life has sucked thus far.
Turns out he cast magick on me; his intentions were wicked and he planned on bedding me and killing me, neither of which happened.
Three days after he left Denver, he left a nasty comment online which turned into a suicide attempt, induced by his magick.
A demon showed up with a suicide recipe, and this was so effective medical doctors believed the story.
The only thing that saved me was wanting to see a sunset and calling my then husband, otherwise I would have died.
Husband called his father who called 911; they barely got to me in time. ICU and then regular hospital.
I was angry I lived; really mad I chickened out.
New spiritual connection to this guy who caused it all. He opened my third eye, it was quite mindblowing.
Guy rejects me in real life while being connected spiritually. A war ensues.
I take the murder attempt personally, work on taking him down by researching him online and discovering he is a bad person.
Get others involved, fighting spiritually and in other ways.
Finally he makes a legal mistake in another country, and a friend reports him to the right people. Ultimately he returned to the USA after that.
All kinds of crazy things happening spiritually as I had absorbed his soul.
Wiccan/Pagan friends who helped with battle start a spiritual warfare group dedicated to battling demons and I join.
2013 on is abuse of all kinds, mostly demonic. Group has lots of drama.
Marriage starts deteriorating; husband literally became a different person over time, went from the wonderful man who loved me and would do anything for me to the evil piece of crap he is now. Took five years.
He got involved in rape porn and is a video game addict. Physical and sexual abuse involved.
2014 the person before me in this body died in a demonic attack, and I was born.
The thing that made this even possible was a head injury received in a car accident; had symptoms from it for many years and lost musical ear. It scrambled my brain to the point it was possible.
This is a very real change and is recognized by people who knew her and who know me now.
In particular, the ex husband treated her well although she was treating him like crap and spending all his money.
I was born into a relatively healthy body. Four years later almost dead due to abuse and neglect, all because I was me and not her.
Stalker who had rejected her falls in love with me. Pattern now changes and I get real life contact like Facebook search manipulations.
He hacks my phone and puts pictures on it, hacks Amazon account and puts albums on it he wants me to see.
Hacks my computer. I find my name on hacker sites and a video of mine on Tor. Contact police and no avail.
Spiritual abuse continues. Parts of him are living in me as I had absorbed his soul.
2018 all this comes to a head. SW group had broken up in 2015 by a member who maliciously lied to everyone to break me off from it and have me all to herself.
I get very fat and ill as ex will only feed me candy, junk food, soda, and fast food. I am not allowed to shop or cook for myself pretty much. Go to nice restaurants to eat real food and get insulted for it.
By this time I am pretty much a prisoner inside the crappy basement he and I had been living in for 18 years with his parents.
Hadn’t been cleaned since 2015; mice, roaches, lots and lots of spiders including brown recluses, ants. Filth/hoarder environment.
Parents know about abuse; promise protection; do nothing.
Their other children were my friends, reported back on convos. Paid their son to be my companion.
End up on oxygen due to Pickwickian syndrome, many other dxes, was going into kidney failure. Again was dying.
One morning I wake up and ask for help with antibiotics as I am very immobile by then due to all conditions.
He starts in on me for asking for a glass of liquid, hurls insults, takes phone, gets in my face and screams at me.
I am crying and realize he is just fine with hurting me; that he knows he is hurting me and doesn’t care. I am silent and he screams; nothing I do or don’t do stops him.
He packs me up and drops me off with my oxygen tank at a restaurant, says he doesn’t know when he will return.
I called the National Domestic Violence Hotline, then a friend who says she will take me. We plot my escape.
End up lying to him saying must help her with resume. Pack what I can in messenger bag, leave just with clothes on my back.
Not even able to catch a cab as this will be questioned and I will be stopped; ended up having him take me across town to where she lives and for some reason he did it.
Plan was to drop me off at store but she can’t come get me and he will not leave me there.
So finally he took me to their large apartment complex and she met us. She knew him from our 20’s and he was so altered she didn’t recognize him, and not just physically.
Friend and her husband talk me into staying with them and not returning home, and all changes from there.
Initially going to live with them, but friend is emotionally unstable. Situation destabilizes to where I have to leave.
Remember rehab in Tucson at age 19 and decide to move to Tucson, also the Lord says His Will.
I empty my bank account and fly to Tucson on a one way ticket with basically no plan.
The Lord says He has work for me to do, but I say how, my body is broken, I am on oxygen and disabled. I literally left my oxygen and everything behind to get there.
A Denver acquaintance spots me a hotel room for a night, then says I must get to a shelter, he will not help me further.
Salvation Army Hospitality House says they have a bed; he gets me a Lyft there. I arrive to find they have no bed. I am penniless in a new town with nowhere to go.
Sit there and pray and wait. They are trying to kick me off the property and a volunteer shows up. She takes me to another shelter, a Christian church homeless shelter.
I move in there and stay for four months as I feel called to be a part of the ministry. End up getting delivered from a lot of things.
The Lord did a miraculous healing which has been medically verified. He also gave me back my musical ear. Previously I scared telemarketers.
I started singing and can hear the pitches, can make harmony! I ended up joining the praise and worship team and performing original songs, as well as being the leader of it some services.
The pastor develops a thing for me and I am the last to know, didn’t realize it until long after I left.
In three months I have built a website, done high level admin work, paying bills out of the bank account, was put in charge of fundraising, and supervising people.
He and I picked out the colors to paint the church. I am in denial about this; there is attraction there from me and devotion to him, but I am there to serve the Lord and not to shag the pastor.
He quietly makes sure I get divorced; even tells me to divorce and repent later, and makes time and scarce resources available to me so I get all done to make it go through.
He did this not to gain me for himself but because my ex was really abusive and he wanted to make sure he was gone.
Ultimately they asked me to do something very wrong; there was abuse and I left.
I emailed the pastor; he called me, defended the employee in the wrong, and told me I was always welcome back.
I moved into the Salvation Army Hospitality House. On the way there, someone called on the resume I had recently created and uploaded although I hadn’t worked in 20 years.
He hired me sight unseen over the phone. I started a temp job in a hospital mailroom the next day.
Held that job for three weeks covering vacations. By the end I had references and good stories as well as money.
Shortly after the hospital job ended, I was hired to run a group home for the mentally ill although no qualifications whatsoever.
I only lasted a week due to really unsafe living conditions and supremely inadequate compensation, but it was a glorious week.
I was the only staff member on site and supervising 12 adult men and women.
I kicked out three people while I was there. One was a healthy man in good physical shape using heroin in his room. I confiscated a pipe, club, and a box full of needles and heroin.
I kicked out a resident who absconded with his disabled wife to panhandle; he came back and I gave him a night out for that and enforced it.
Someone walked in and pretended to be a new client. I figured out the truth and kicked her out.
It was unending drama; residents at different levels of functioning and sanity. They loved me, feared me, and raved to their caseworkers. Even the druggie guy wanted to come back.
I left because they could have killed me anytime (they had screwdrivers and knew how to pick locks) and they were only paying me $200 a month to do all that.
I moved in with roommate from church homeless shelter. She was a legally vulnerable elderly woman under case management.
Although she was a Section 8 client, all was well with everyone. Her caseworker gave permission for me to live there; I applied at the trailer park, was accepted, signed a lease and paid rent.
One day she calls me and says her boyfriend wants to speak to me. He tries to extort money out of me, says he will have me thrown out if I do not pay her X amount of money. I am, no way.
Multiple phone calls happen in which I continue to resist and then say I want no contact with him.
She brings him over. He comes in and locks the door behind him. He starts yelling at me and I call 911.
Cops hear him, he is yelling at them and telling her to call and file a false report on me, which she does.
Ultimately cops arrive, go in and talk to the two of them having told me to get out of the house.
They then bring me back in and she has sweet talked a deal where he doesn’t go to jail and gets to stay, and I must live with this.
Park management not available so must deal with this. They then kick me out of the front room, have sex.
I am basically stuck in the back room although I live there and he doesn’t.
I get mad. I leave early that morning and see a lawyer.
She advises me to get a restraining order, so I go get the police report and then go to court, in shorts. I got my order.
I go to church, go home and see his car. Go to the nearby police station, get backup. They put me in a squad car, take another, and we all go to my house.
I wait in the police car while the police get him out of there using my order, and I finally get to be home.
Roommate tries to get restraining order against me and an eviction order, at his demand.
She actually goes to court, but when they ask why they should grant it she says nothing, so they deny it.
I talk to roommate, find out he was threatening her. He told her he would give her a black eye and bruises if she didn’t comply, and she was holed up with him in our house so she did all he said.
He had a history of physical violence against her and also a criminal arrest record for domestic violence.
Park management gets a restraining order against him. A week later, I help roommate get her own order, again in shorts. We are in court five minutes and order is granted.
I go home next day and discover Section 8 has decided to throw me out, told roommate it is her or me and gave me 24 hours to leave.
Since they were fine with me it is obviously his final revenge, but I had to go.
A church gives me night in a hotel. I spend next night at a bus depot.
I am really low, and someone on Facebook makes fun of the fact I am spending the night at a bus depot. He turns out to be a Satanist.
The Lord says, go to hospital where you worked, they have free water!
At cafeteria, I melt down and decide to commit suicide. All I needed was a good plan.
Two friends contact me and I finally admit I am actually at the hospital. One says go to the ER so I do. They admit me. I call roommate tell her where I am at. She says she is shopping.
I am in the hospital 11 days. They treat me for trauma and PTSD.
The hospital discharges me to a treatment center for further trauma treatment. I stay there two weeks.
Treatment center is haunted; smoke detector flew off the wall, my bed got moved by itself, marker rolling on its own, unexplained noises everyone hears.
I finish trauma work and life direction is set.
The Lord wants me to pray for the church/homeless shelter I left and I agree.
I move into my own apartment.
I had also checked direction with a former attendee of that church/homeless shelter and put up a picture of my friends on my wall to pray for them.
My friends were obviously suffering and photos of them showed their misery.
I was mad and wrote the pastor a nasty poem on my art site. The whole church was stalking me so this is all I needed to do to contact them.
Poem discovered within hours. Promised help. The poetry on the art site that was specifically about that church had an inordinate number of views compared to other work.
Someone from that church/homeless shelter and I start a blog which runs for months. The Lord uses it in many positive ways.
The purpose of the blog was get the church/homeless shelter to repent and amend their ways. Received real life persecution for this.
The church/homeless ultimately completely rejected Jesus Christ and us and is evil.
Co-author ended up in major moral failure, did things to try to harm me so we parted ways.
Other people did get saved from the blog and were greatly helped. But due to corruption and lies of co-author, destroyed it as it was tainted.
Somehow in all this meet a major Hollywood producer and sign on with studio to maybe make the story I pitched into a movie.
I get in temporary financial trouble doing this, couldn’t pay rent and utilities for December.
I ask severely abusive family for help. They sabotage me instead.
Plan was to get me evicted, get me to Denver, family uses psychiatric history to legally take over my life.
This would allow them to abuse me practically legally with no questions asked.
Obviously this is bad for me, so I stay home and cut them all off.
A friend comes through with the rent. It has been so long due to family sabotage I had to come up with twice normal amount.
Eviction was in process which they stopped.
No one would help me pay utility bill so the lights just stayed on.
I paid utility bill in full in January, in lit heated apartment. Found disconnect notice later they mailed in December.
I find a freelance position with a great company. Bills are paid, hope and future!
I join a great church, make new friends.
Was planning on enrolling in theater program at U of A to pursue a career as a Hollywood screenwriter someday.
Then I peed blood and the rest is history.
Jephthah's Daughter 