Heavenly Father, as I have prayed previously, I ask before the world only Your Word and truth be proclaimed in this post. Only Your will be done and no one else’s. I humbly ask this in Jesus’ Name, Amen.
So I am writing because I went before the Lord and said, am I really dying?
It is a good question. I factually have several very serious medical conditions. There are different approaches to forecasting the results of those. But regardless of what man determines, the Lord trumps all.
He is the Lord of healing. He is the Lord of resurrection. Dead bodies are no problem; He can bring those back to life!
Jesus Christ Has The Keys Of Hell And Death
He also solely determines when life ends, and is involved in every death. In the following quote, the Lord Jesus Christ is speaking to the Apostle John in the Book of Revelation.
“…Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last. I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death.” ~ Revelation 1:17-18, NKJV.
This quite literally means Jesus Christ has the power over Death and determines who goes to Hell. He does the latter in His role as judge over the living and the dead.
Jesus Christ Is Life And The Source Of All Life
This is the real point of my post and what the Lord showed me. He took me to Psalm 31 and asked me to write about it.
But before He would give me a single word, He made me accept that I am dying.
The medical conditions I have are very very real and very serious.
Regardless, He could cure them if He wished. Resurrection also isn’t an issue for Him or entirely remaking bodies from dried up, useless bones (Ezekiel 37).
He can seriously do anything He wishes; He is the Lord. No situation is too far gone for the most part, and the exceptions to this are clearly spelled out in His Word (blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and taking the mark of the Beast come immediately to mind).
Jesus Can Raise The Dead
I want to emphasize the condition of a body is no obstacle to the Lord, as demonstrated by the story of the resurrection of Lazarus. (John 11).
Basically, the Lord found out His friend Lazarus was sick. He hung out where He was for two extra days after He received the news, then journeyed to Lazarus’ house. This took awhile, and by the time He got there Lazarus had been dead four days.
The body was juicy, y’all. It was not hygienically stored in a fridge; it was lying in a cave. It had therefore been rotting for a bit, and Martha, in particular, objected that “Lord, by this time there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days.” (John 11:39).
That was the point, honestly. Jesus stayed where He was two extra days so Lazarus WOULD die. Then it took awhile to get to Lazarus’ house, as He was a decent distance (roughly 20 miles) away, so more time passed. This is so the body had time to decompose. Why? To prove a point!!
Jesus had already given the answer to the pop quiz that was the resurrection of Lazarus. He is good like that; He wants us to have the answers so we can pass the tests He gives.
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” ~ John 11:25-26, NASB.
And then Jesus proved this was true by raising Lazarus from the dead!
“Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus come forth!” And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.” ~ John 11:43-44, NKJV.
The Bible doesn’t say “and the dead body came forth.” Jesus didn’t make a zombie. He raised Lazarus; Lazarus in his own now completely restored body came forth, bound in graveclothes, and just needed to be unbound to go back to living his life!
This little incident led directly to Jesus’ crucifixion and death (John 11:47-53), which we KNOW happened, so yeah, this is all very real! And had some very serious consequences for Jesus, too.
Clearly If Jesus Can Restore Life To A Dead, Rotting Body, He Can Heal My Body!
Clearly. So it just then boils down to: will He?
Medical conditions, however serious, not an obstacle. Actual physical decomposition, not an obstacle. Bones so dry and weathered they’re only good for ART projects, no problem! He can and will do WHATEVER He wants.
Jesus ALONE determines life and death. He IS Life itself; He ALONE has the keys of Death!
I believe He has said to me, no, not this time. For you, Seren, it is time to rest.
And this is the answer no one wants to hear. Including me.
Nothing Bad Will Happen
I just saw an ad on PureFlix for a movie about a young Amish woman who travels to another community and finds love. Dang, I want all that.
I want to see the ocean. I want to eat good meals with loved ones. I want to travel.
I want to sit on the beach in the Bahamas and let the sun warm my skin, and blog about it.
Life is precious; I want more of it. I could do so much. I am not ready for it to be over.
Judging on reactions I am getting, nobody is.
How this is actually going down is, I get up daily and talk about this stuff. Then talk to my beloved friends, my brothers and sisters and Christ. Everyone is carrying on exactly as if nothing unusual is happening.
Maybe if we all pretend hard enough everything is fine, nothing bad will happen!
Life will unroll day after precious day, we will all stay in denial and hopefully the Damocles sword will never drop. If we all stick our fingers in our ears and sing fa-la-la the golden days will turn into years and nothing bad will happen.
A couple people thought they got crazy messages from God; you will be healed, everything will be fine! One thought I was gonna go visit him even.
There are more sober skeptics. But the general attitude is we really want you to be wrong. Only my enemies want me dead.
Jesus Gets The Glory Regardless
I think everyone would be super happy if I could honestly report the Lord cured me of all the conditions the hospital reported finding. Or could just report that, against all odds, I continue to survive although my body is horribly broken.
This is NOT what He has led me to believe will happen, however.
Remember, Jesus is Life, the Source of Life, and alone has power over Death. So whatever He says goes. For me. For you. For everyone.
I believe He has decreed eternal rest for me, and this is what responsible servants of His I trust have discerned also.
Why???
I am in the unique position of knowing my death is coming and reporting on stuff as I go. And therefore able to ask and answer questions as to why this is happening, which I am sure more than one person has asked.
The Lord took me to Psalm 31. This jumped out at me.
“Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble; my eye wastes away with grief, yes my soul and my body! For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.” ~ Psalm 31:9-10, NKJV.
What this says to me is things like grief and sorrow and emotional suffering spend your life, consume your years, affect your actual body. Your very bones waste away.
Well, have had all that in spades.
I Need To Rest
I am very very very tired. The spirit is willing but the body has HAD it.
The Lord is not the Lord of workaholism; He created the Sabbath so man would be forced to rest one day a week. He is the Lord of Sabbath rest.
He Himself rested after His work of creation (Genesis 2:1-3).
And that is the je ne sais quoi in this situation. I am very very tired and need to rest.
That is really the bottom line. I need to rest. I cannot live this way forever; He literally won’t allow it.
As Far As I Know, I Am Going To Die
My body has said ENOUGH! and is breaking down. Jesus could keep fixing it, but it would probably try to break down more.
I could go for lots of treatment; panic in general, insist on all the care possible for every disease. I have opted to go like this instead. I will honestly likely live longer that way.
So I don’t know how long. I really really don’t. I just know life is short.
Jephthah's Daughter 