Very powerful video, please watch.
Non Christian Evidence For Christ (Video)
Tag: Video
Celebration of Life Photo and Video Post
So since, due to my unusual life circumstances, no one in real life is throwing a Celebration of Life that I know of, the Lord Who wishes me to be remembered is throwing His own here.
He has invited the world at large since He is by nature inclusive.
I have lots of great friends around the world literally. No one local.
Maybe there will be something online after I go. All out of my hands. People will do what they wish.
So it is customary in a Celebration of Life to put up photos and so forth that characterized that person, and this literally falls to me to do while I have that ability.
Therefore, the stuff in this post is how I myself wish to be remembered, and the things I feel represent ME.
So Good To Me (Music Video)
Even Stars Die
Dear Lord Jesus, You didn’t take long to answer. I scarcely finished speaking and got invited to an online Bible study.
It is super great You have brought people to the blog, Lord. Please do continue to bring everyone here You want to read my words. The more the merrier. All are welcome.
But ultimately this is a You and me thing. This is a place where I get my feelings out and work through my final days. Because these ARE my final days.
This is what You had to say, and my job just to report on what You are doing and saying, as You have called me to be Your witness.
Rest, My Child
You had a hard Word for me, Lord. You said, your labors are at an end. Time to rest.
To the other people at the Bible study, it was about the importance of resting. You anticipated workaholics so created the Sabbath and hallowed it.
Man needs to be made to rest, so You created a day of rest and commanded it be observed. Not for You; for us. Because You anticipated burnout and all the problems of the modern era.
For me it was, your body is at replacement stage and you know this. So you are done and I am commanding eternal rest for you.
I didn’t want to hear this. Fortunately, You are faithful so the Bible study continued.
Sermons Aren’t Random
If you manage to get to a church service live or online, that is a Divine appointment.
Yes churches have problems; I have seen them all by now. But He uses even the WORST ones. He really does!
The pastor has Divine authority. Take the preaching seriously. It might be wrong somehow, but the Lord let it be proclaimed.
So He had a reason for that, and some reason for getting you to that particular service.
Surrender Is The Key
What You showed me (at this GOOD church Bible study) and continue to show me is: it is all about SURRENDER. My will or Yours? What will it be?
Beware The Wolves!
There are wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing leading ministries and churches. They look and sound godly, but they are serving poison! Don’t drink the Koolaid!
I am NOT talking about your brother or sister struggling with issues. Help him or her, pray for them, rescue them. You will need rescued yourself someday!
The wolves KNOW they are wolves and do what they do knowingly and deliberately. Those MUST be avoided and resisted!
Self Will Vs. God’s Will
The Bible says you shall know them by their fruit. Their guiding principle is SELF WILL so they will grow and bear the fruits of self will.
The Bible calls these poisonous fruits “the acts of the flesh” and lists them.
“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” ~ Galatians 5:19-21, NIV.
Conversely, a true believer has the Holy Spirit as their OS (Operating System). Yes, the difference between success and failure in the Christian life is: are YOU your OS or is the Holy Spirit your OS???
The Holy Spirit, or GOD’S WILL, being the guiding principle of a believer can be discerned by that person’s behavior. Here is what the Bible says to look for.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” ~ Galatians 5:21-23, NIV.
Wolves obviously deliberately hide their true nature. Sometimes it can take time for the truth to surface. But it inevitably does.
The Three Areas To Surrender
I totally got all this from the Bible study and credit the pastor for his ideas. I am doing a blog post about his study. Thank you for your faithfulness in preaching, dear brother.
Sin
And that is where everyone stops reading haha. Oh boy I have to CHANGE. What did you just feel very uncomfortable about? You might need to do something about that.
We are ALL sinners. Nobody is perfect! Everyone is in exactly the same boat; I don’t care how good they look. The Lord sees the heart!
My sins were and are struggling with fear, doubt, worry, sadness and DENIAL. Denial is a big issue: it is my favorite defense mechanism and causes a LOT of problems.
I am constantly confessing those and asking the Lord to fix/remove them. Have made tremendous progress as a result, but NOT perfect and will not be while alive.
Self
The Lord hit me hard with this one. My SELF wants to live on in my body, and this is natural. I just want my body to go on and on like the Energizer Bunny. Just keep replacing the batteries, the mechanical parts, anything needing replaced.
My body can live forever!
Truth is the bunnies in those commercials are probably scrapped somewhere. Also multiple ones were likely made due to mechanical breakdowns.
That is the reality of all physical objects. Even stars die, Anakin.
The Tragic Tale Of Anakin Skywalker
Darth Vader HAPPENED as he couldn’t accept Padme’s approaching death. Anakin took matters into his own hands to save her; self will ruled him.
Instead of saving her, he became Darth Vader and personally brought her death about, as well as largely destroyed himself. Yes, in trying to AVOID her death, he ACHIEVED it.
She likely would be alive if he had just surrendered, accepted, and did his job!
Star Wars is FICTION but accurately describes the results of pursuing self will!
Death Is The Inevitable Result of Birth
My body will die and all are in denial. I will not die, meaning my soul. I will live on, go to Heaven, and get a new body someday.
People are acting like this is some special circumstance instead of something that will ultimately happen to ALL of them too!
I cannot believe I have to point out cemeteries are full of bodies that belonged to Christians. Clearly God DOESN’T heal everyone.
People Go A Little Crazy When Death Is Involved
It isn’t confined to Christians. Nederland, Colorado, USA has an annual festival celebrating the fact some guy had his body put on ice in hopes he could eventually reuse it someday.
It is called “Frozen Dead Guy Days” and they drink beer, dress in costumes, throw a parade, and party for a few days. Every year.
That body is good for nothing. It is possibly stew meat for cannibals, is probably degraded beyond scientific use, is badly frozen according to locals, and probably smells horrible.
But they pay for its upkeep and throw an annual festival around it. Because people are irrational when death is involved. And it’s a good excuse for a party.
Also see Irish wakes for that one.
Rambling So Not Dealing With Your Point, Lord
My body is going kaput. Uncertain when but this is a happening thing. I have abundantly explained why in various entries here.
For me, crucifying self is accepting this.
Not looking for a miracle cure. Already miraculously alive. Even the Lord only repairs/replaces to a certain point. He said it is time to rest so it is.
My soul continues to be strong and getting stronger. Like I do not even understand what the Lord transformed me into, but praise the Lord for His amazing, wonderful work!
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” ~ Psalm 139:14, NIV.
EVERYTHING I do, unless it is a result of sin/self will, is done by Him through me. The writing, the art, photos, the video my friend helped with. Here, Facebook, LinkedIn, DA.
The Lord is throwing a Celebration of Life for me and inviting who He wants to come. If you are reading this, you made the invite list!
Stuff
This honestly isn’t much of an issue for me due to my radical life experiences. Most people are enslaved by their money and possessions.
Not surrendering your stuff to God, therefore, will make it available for enemy use. You will fight a lot of battles over money and possessions.
Almost everyone struggles in this area.
Conclusion
This is a process for me and I think everyone else too. The Lord is using the process of my death to teach fundamental truths about life.
Thanks to Pastor Ron of Kingdom of Hearts for the Bible study that inspired this post! You can find it here.
Crushed By Doubt
Oh dear Lord Jesus Christ, only You know how lonely this road is.
I think I know what is truth, what is reality. But know how easily I am deceived also.
I don’t know what to make of what is happening to me. My body literally works in a supernatural way.
No one knows how terrified and alone I feel, Lord. Looking for light, hope, and direction.
I just know that You are in control. That You have everything handled as usual.
I relinquish the reins. Death, life, whatever You want is acceptable.
Last night I walked through an entire mall where I had gone to do my errand.
Stood in a clothing store and said to myself, if for some reason I live shopping here, these sales prices are great!
Walked through the mall wanted nothing in it. You know I used to hang out in malls as a refuge.
You know I had a shopping problem and was basically addicted to buying jewelry.
Walked through nothing interested me. Desired none of it. Just stuff, just possessions.
Even I noticed this and said to myself, oh Lord who have You made me into???
Like The Stars Forever and Ever
Just doing some art to work out feelings. The text is an excerpt from Daniel 12:3 and the base image I used is Marvel’s Jean Grey Phoenix.
Did Not Get Shot. Did Get Reese’s!
So I spend most of my time at home. I am very tired most of the time.
Tonight had to run an important errand. It required me to be out late on my own, on the bus.
My friend who keeps the closest track of me is fine with me running around by myself at night. Above and beyond Jesus protects me, I have great street skills. Between the two, he doesn’t worry very much.
Tonight proved why he feels this way.
Sitting at the back of the bus (don’t own a car for many reasons) tonight and three people get on. One leaves a handwritten sign with the usual bus ads. Says some weird statement about embracing goodness and greenhouses.
The guy across from me dressed like a gangsta. Soon determine he IS a gangsta and not a poser. Note very large knife/short sword and guess it isn’t because he collects. That’s a weapon.
Soon see he is also packing a very decent size gun under his sweatshirt.
I think weapons on the bus are illegal but obviously this doesn’t stop anyone.
For all that, he has a sweet spirit. I feel he is a fundamentally nice person and really confused why a kind person is packing and obviously involved in illegal stuff.
Anyhow, there is obviously a potential situation and someone to be kept calm. So that is what I did. And honestly liked him too.
He is rummaging through all this stuff. I idly wonder how much is his and how much he stole. Hard to tell. Maybe some, maybe none.
He finally turns around and is friendly. Plys me with Reese’s white chocolate peanut butter cups. I politely decline.
He pushes a bit, and I took him up on it. Less likely to die from Reese’s than a bullet after all.
He turns and offers one to an older Native guy, who politely refuses. Older Hispanic lady who has obviously sized up the situation accepts with gratitude.
So there we are, eating Reese’s, and he is talking about breaking bread. I say breaking Reese’s even better than bread, and laugh.
He shows me all his other candy, including Jolly Ranchers. I tell him how I grew up near a Jolly Ranchers factory, and how you would drive by and there would be a super sweet smell.
Sharing is caring, he says. He plies me with the last Reese’s and I refuse but he insists. So I take it, eat it, thank him. Say I haven’t had anything sweet in awhile so appreciate it.
Ask where his stop is, want to make sure he doesn’t miss it.
He talks about weed and how he likes weed but it makes you hungry. I say weed does that. Tell him about Girl Scouts selling cookies outside of weed dispensaries.
By this time his stop has come up. He grabs all his stuff and gets off. I tell him, the Lord bless you, have a good night. And he leaves.
It was a genuinely pleasant encounter; I actually liked him. What is a sweet guy like that doing in all that trouble, I wondered.
Then Hispanic lady starts talking, saying yes she noticed the gun.
And that he was on crystal.
What??
She went on about how nice he was and how unusual that was for someone on crystal. Usually they’re mean, she said. They just shoot you.
I digested this. Then asked, what is crystal?
Crystal meth, she said.
Oh.
So nice guy packing a good size gun and a very large knife was on METH. And she didn’t understand why he wasn’t mean!
I silently praised Jesus. He closed the mouth of the lion and preserved my life AGAIN. And not just mine but the other passengers too!
She is maybe a little more used to this than me and immediately started worrying about finding her stop.
I helped her, made sure she knew where to get off. Made two friends on the bus today. One was packing heat.
I continued to learn about the power of just being kind to people. Because I didn’t panic, remained calm, and just was nice to this guy, nobody died on the bus tonight.
There wasn’t an incident, no police, no TV news story. No policy changes and think tank discussions. No handwringing about crime in Tucson and the buses aren’t safe.
Just the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the power of human kindness. Why is that sweet soul in all that massively illegal crap? I don’t know.
But if I run into him again, he will probably offer me more candy as opposed to shooting me. I was good to him; why would he want to kill me?
I hope this is a powerful lesson about the importance of loving your neighbor. ❤
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.
“A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
“So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
“But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
“He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.
“The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” ~ Luke 10:25-37, NIV.
I Am The Impossible Girl
In so many ways this is true. There is nothing average or ordinary about me or my life. It has always been this way. I am dying as I lived.
Training In Death’s Dojo
So I have a definite science bent. I am fascinated with the process of dying. Looked it up, what are the typical symptoms, where am I in the process.
Death Is A Process
As most people are massively freaking out and I alone am somewhat objective about it, will just say yes what I am going through matches descriptions of what happens during the dying process.
I will say to my surprise people do not just keel over. You can start the process of dying and live for weeks or even months.
The active death phase can take up to three days!
This timeframe generally applies to death from illness, like what is happening to me. A bullet to the brain or sudden cardiac arrest will take you out rather fast.
I See Dead People
I also noticed that the articles (mostly on hospice sites) talked about visions/hallucinations/delusions. Claims of talking to deceased people and whatnot.
The general advice is pat the dying person on the head and put on their favorite music. Good recommendation on the music. Now have it going all the time.
Above all, these articles say, do not disbelieve the dying person. This will upset them, and it happens to so many it is considered a normal death experience.
But the overall attitude is this is weird, unexplainable phenomena. It isn’t, will talk more about that in a bit.
Hospices Are Kind Places
Hospice care is basically whatever care is needed to ensure calm and comfortable so the patient passes peacefully.
Ironically I volunteered at two hospices, even worked in medical records.
Amusingly, patients didn’t die; they were discharged. In the case they lived or moved to another hospice, that was called a live discharge.
Everyone deals with stuff in their own way. That is why people use euphemisms; it distances them emotionally from hard realities.
Hospices always attracted me; end of life care attracted me. I follow the Confessions of a Funeral Director guy on Facebook. Bought his book too.
Facing My Own Death
I had to go through training to volunteer at the second hospice. (The first one I played piano for so no training required.) An essential part of that training was facing and accepting my own mortality.
I had to write about matters related to my own death, face any feelings about that. Maybe that is part of how ok I am with it now.
Above and beyond any training I have faced and cheated death so many times a little surprised Death will finally win a match.
Playing Mortal Kombat With Death
There have been crucial spiritual battles I consider life-threatening. More than I will recount.
But there were also three suicide attempts, two of which landed me in ICU. Emergency gallbladder surgery that nearly ended in sepsis. Sepsis is basically multiple organ failure due to massive infection.
I also had cellulitis with bacteremia. Praise the Lord the antibiotics worked. The CDC was consulted on that one and they considered amputation!
Oh I guess I did have sepsis, but as they didn’t want me to massively panic they called it bacteremia. Woo, almost died pretty literally.
There are other incidents too I cannot discuss. Not to mention all the hospitalizations over suicidal ideations too numerous to mention.
So Death a familiar sparring partner, spent years training in his dojo. Learned unique and difficult lessons there.
Death Is Primarily Spiritual
Common symptoms of death, according to hospice literature, are:
- Visions/delusions/hallucinations.
- Claims of speaking with deceased people.
- Agitation.
- Anxiety.
Science has gone to a tremendous amount of trouble to deny the existence of the spirit world. So what I attribute all this is to the spiritual component of death.
Hospices acknowledge there is one but speak of it in the most general terms. As they serve all, they have to accommodate all spiritual beliefs or lack thereof. So this is sensible.
I believe completely in Jesus Christ Who literally keeps me alive. So I assert these “symptoms” are the natural consequences of dying and being utterly unprepared for this.
What Is Out There In The Great Beyond?
The spirit world is quite real. All this activity happens to a soul waking up to final realities and oh crap what do I do now???
Dying can be painful. Most people in hospice suffer minimal pain, so something else must be causing all that upset and anxiety.
The visions are quite real. Speaking to an apparently deceased person means the dying person has contacted a spirit. Of course it upsets them if you disbelieve as this is the truth!
Preparation For Death Is Essentially Spiritual
All the meds and treatment given in hospice care are to keep the patient calm and comfortable. The dying soul has tough work to do, and every soul does this work differently.
Hospices say spiritual health at this juncture consists of doing the following:
- Forgiving those who have harmed you.
- Seeking forgiveness from those you have harmed.
- Expressing gratitude for good things.
- Expressing love towards loved ones.
- Tell people goodbye.
I am taking notes from the experts and doing this. But this is spiritual work!
I will accept expert opinion that probably people who do these have easier deaths than those who don’t.
Tug Of War
I utterly believe your soul is in a lifelong tug of war between the Lord Jesus Christ and Satan, Good and the inferior Evil. You will end up in one camp or the other regardless of what you thought in life.
The agitation/visions/etc. are from finding out this is reality you weren’t prepared for, and frantically trying to cope last minute.
I am so happy and at peace people find this remarkable. This is because I am well prepared spiritually.
Jesus Christ Holds The Keys Of Hell And Death
“I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.” ~ Revelation 1:18, KJV.
I believe in Jesus Christ. He came in the flesh and is my personal Lord and Savior. I love Him beyond life.
He loves me back! He died for me; He is always there for me, and has granted many favors and graces besides.
If you would like a life full of joy and a peaceful happy death, please pray with me:
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your gift of salvation. I admit I am a sinner in need of Your salvation. I believe and accept your Son Jesus Christ, Who is fully God and fully human, came in the flesh, died for my sins, was buried and was raised from the dead. I invite Him into my heart to be my personal Lord and Savior. Thank You for loving me enough to save me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
I Prayed The Prayer, What Do I Do Now?
These are good churches that will get you started on your new walk with the Lord.
Victory Worship Center, Tucson, Arizona, USA.
The River Church, Salem, Oregon, USA.
Life.Church (online ministry).
The Lord Jesus Christ abundantly bless you all! ❤❤❤
Because He First Loved Me
Jephthah's Daughter 